The Price of Failure
by XD-385
Summary: Discord is no more. But with his end, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony have been robbed of a most precious treasure they failed to protect. How does one cope knowing that one failed to protect someone dear to ones' heart? How does one live with the guilt? What would one do to undo the greatest mistake of ones' life? And what would one endure to do so?
1. Disclaimer

**Author's Note:**

I was originally planning to have this story be uploaded in one sitting. But due to the extreme length this story will reach, quite possibly a few hundred pages, I will be dividing it up into numerous uploads. With every 50 pages I finish, I will upload more of it.


	2. Chapter 1

That did not just happen… Everything I saw just now… Just seconds before the mirror became filled with static and shattered before me. And then… My horn! It came back! And it… Yes! It still worked! But… No. I can't just stay here! That had to be an illusion… James… He... He can't be gone!

I needed to get out of there. And the others… Just what happened to drive James to such madness?! I did not even feel like I was seeing the same person anymore! The voice carried a twisted malice in it and the eyes… No… That could never be James. He could never end up like that! I know James well. He is too gentle and reserved. But at the end… Just before the mirror shattered, I saw the real James once again. Just before he…

No… I could not allow myself to think like that. Everything we just saw had to be some sort of trick! Discord was just pulling a sick prank on us all! But still… I had to find the others!

I did not have to search long. I heard the clopping of hooves that were not my own. And when I rounded the next corner, I found the source of the sound. Rarity. And like me, her horn was back on her head where it belonged. "Huh?! Rarity?! Wait, what's wrong? You… Did you see it too?"

She looked pale. Like she was in a panic. "I can't stay here… Need to find the way out… Can't let him…"

Good thing I had my horn back. I snatched her up in a levitation spell and gave her a good shake. "Rarity, relax! I saw it too!"

She seemed to quiet down after that. But her face… It was matted with tears. And there was something else. She looked like she had been wetted down by that downpour we just had, but she seemed to have dried herself out enough. Even so, I noticed something that seemed off. "Wait… What's wrong with your coat and mane? It almost looks the way it did when I found you fawning over that ro… No… Rarity, you didn't!"

Right when I said that, she started crying with such a shameful look in her eyes. "I tried to resist, Twilight! I swear I did! But he forced it upon me! One touch and I found myself turning gray once more! I pleaded with him to remove the corruption before it could consume me, but he grinned at the prospect of what it would do to James! Oh, Twilight… What have I done?!"

Discord… He could corrupt us with just one touch this whole time?! He was planning on forcing us to lose all along?! But wait… "Hold on… James didn't actually see you like that, did he?"

Rarity was not even trying to speak. She looked at me with those big azure eyes filled with horror and guilt. No… What did she do? "He… I… I attacked him when he tried to… Twilight, I hurt him! I cast him aside for a boulder! I loved him and I threw him away!"

I had to catch her. She collapsed against me while sobbing harder than I had ever seen her weep before. "I can't bear to lose him, Twilight… I can't…"

"We won't, Rarity." I refused to believe what I saw until I laid my eyes upon the aftermath. I was drenched in the rain that fell as that battle raged on. I felt the tremors of fiery explosions. But until I saw it… No, I would not dare think that James could do such a thing!

"We'll discuss this later. Pinkie Pie is gonna be absolutely furious when she finds out one of us broke a Pinkie Promise. But right now, we need to find the other girls and get out of the labyrinth… Wait. Is somepony there?" It sounded like somepony was just on the other side of the hedge next to us.

I heard a voice I could recognize anywhere. All thanks to that country accent. "Twi? Is that you?! Hang on, I'm gonna barge through!" I heard her let out a bit of a growl before Applejack suddenly burst right through the maze's wall and fell flat on her belly before standing up and brushing herself off. "Sorry 'bout that… Anyway… Did you girls see all that too? Ya don't think… Uh… Twi? Rarity? What's with that look?"

Her right eye… It was swollen shut and as dark as a plum. The same eye that James struck when… Rarity spoke first while pointing at her. "Applejack… Your eye. Isn't that where…"

Our friend let out a long sigh while angling her hat down to partially hide her face. "Yeah… James really walloped me one… Can't say I didn't have it comin' though…"

Wait… No, not her too! "Applejack… You didn't break the promise too, did you?!"

She did not say anything at first. She kept glancing around as if she could not bring herself to speak the truth. Finally, I saw tears spill from her eyelids while her voice began to break. "I told 'im I always hated him, Twilight! I didn't say one true thing when he found me! I wish I could take it all back!"

I felt a cold chill fill me. I had actually witnessed James hit Applejack in the face while I was watching what was on that…mirror. And if Applejack was showing an injury she suffered from James, then that meant…everything else I saw… No… Please, no… This was not happening…

"Girls! There you are!" I think I nearly screamed when I heard that! Pinkie Pie just popped up out of nowhere! "I had to backtrack a few pages to find you! Are you OK?! Did you all see that too?! It was like something outta one of my nightmares! Especially the ones with Rainbow Dash and cupcakes!"

Applejack and Rarity instantly cringed when Pinkie Pie came closer. And it was Rarity who spoke first. "We did… And…"

It was Applejack who confessed. "We… We couldn't keep the promise, Pinkie! We tried, we really did! But Discord got to us! All he did was touch me and… You know the rest… I know yer gonna have my hide, but…"

I was expecting Pinkie Pie to be just as furious as that time we went searching for Applejack after she refused to come home after that rodeo competition in Canterlot a couple years back. But instead… She bowed her head as her mane and tail looked like they could 'deflate' at any second. "It's all right… I… I broke the promise too…"

Impossible… Even Pinkie Pie, the one who INVENTED the Pinkie Promise, was not able to keep it as long as Discord had anything to say about it… "I was so angry and hateful again… I even told him I hated him! What kind of friend am I if I tell a friend that I hate them?!"

"Let's worry about that later! Right now we need to find Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and then get out of the maze. I can only pray that James will be able to forgive us when this is all over…" I had to try to keep everypony focused. For all we knew, our friend out there was dying and we needed to get to him right away. "Pinkie, did you happen to see either of them on your way here?"

She suddenly perked up as if she suddenly had an idea. "No… But I have something that'll take us to them!" She reached into her mane or something and pulled out a…sheet of paper?

"Uh… Pinkie… What in the heavens is that?" Rarity seemed especially baffled while she looked at it over Pinkie's shoulder. I too was starting to get a creepy vibe from it.

I really was not expecting Pinkie's reply. Although I was not entirely surprised by it either. "It's the script! We'll just follow what happens next and we'll find our friends!"

"How did ya even… Ya know what? Forget it. If it helps us get ta our friends faster, I'm all for it." I was entirely onboard with Applejack's suggestion. While I was tempted to investigate where she got that 'script' and find out why she called it that, I knew better than to question Pinkie Pie by then. Especially in a situation as dire as that.

"OK, stay close! Let's see… We all head this way… Then make a right at the next corner… I think we're gonna find Fluttershy first!" We did not question anything Pinkie Pie did or said. And sure enough, after a few turns, we saw her. Staggering down the path ahead of us was Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy! Darling, are you well?!" Rarity was the first to hurry to our friend's side and we were close behind her. At first, it was like she did not even notice us. But when she started to turn to face us, I saw her side. Her wings had been returned to her as well. But her face… That look… Eyes filled with tears and an utterly broken gaze. "D… Darling? Fluttershy, what is…"

Rarity did not even get the chance to finish whatever she was going to say. Fluttershy burst into tears, collapsing into her friend's arms while wailing uncontrollably. It was the hardest thing to listen to I had heard in a long time. And that is saying something because I heard the sound of flesh being torn and ripped combined with the sound of mad laughter not even twenty minutes ago. But I did manage to make out bits of words between sobs. Something like 'I made him hurt himself' and 'I kicked him' and 'In the head'… No… For Fluttershy to do that to James… It is no wonder he finally broke…

I was not sure of what to do or say. I have seen Fluttershy distraught and upset, but this… What could I say? She betrayed her boyfriend and even hurt him! And from the sound of it, she made him hurt himself for her! I remember her being cruel and unpleasant when she was corrupted a couple of years ago, but for James… I cannot believe she would exploit his love for her like this… Discord, how could you? To go this far for your twisted entertainment…

"Shhh… We are all to blame, Fluttershy… We too failed to protect him like we promised…" Rarity knows Fluttershy better than either of us. Except maybe for Pinkie Pie. She seemed to be successfully calming her down. "Now, let's go find Rainbow Dash and then we… Hm?!"

Right then… I heard an agonized scream from somewhere in the distance. That voice… "Rainbow Dash? She's screaming?"

"That…sounded more like…a wail…" Fluttershy added while choking on tears. And it sounded like it came from…

"Hang on… Is she… Rainbow's already outside the maze?! Everypony, get close! I'm getting us outta here!" I called for them to get close to me while I started to focus to cast a spell. If I could just remember how the area right outside the maze's entrance looked. "Focus… I think… There! Now… What…the…"

It worked. My teleportation spell got us back outside the maze and dropped us all off right by the entrance. But the area… Just… I had seen what had become of the place while watching it unfold on that mirror, but…

The sky was dark and cloudy. The landscape… Muddy and broken. Huge chunks of the ground had been ripped up. The landscape that still floated in the sky… Twisted and nightmarish. But bit by bit, I saw some of them slowly reverting to how they used to look before plummeting from the sky and into the ground with a crash. With his death, his influence seemed to be fading away. Discord's twisted chaotic influence… I still remember. Princess Celestia warned me that the Element of Humanity releases negative energies when in its black 'corrupt' state. All this… It must have merged with Discord's influence to twist everything his magic touched into something out of the most evil of minds… I can still remember the moment I first saw the mirror suddenly close in on James' helmet… The moment I saw those two polished ravens glaring right at me with those glowing crimson eyes. I panicked… I pleaded, pounding on the mirror hoping that James would hear me and know I was still there. But he never did…

"This is…just messed up… I didn't wanna believe this was all real…" Applejack muttered quietly while we all could do nothing more than behold the horrid aftermath of that sick excuse of a game… How in the world did the princesses not notice this? What stopped them from intervening? Canterlot Castle is not very far... Was it Discord's doing?

It did not take long for one of us to remind the rest of us why we were out there. A moment later, I noticed Fluttershy look straight ahead before suddenly letting out a shriek. "Nooo!"

She ran on ahead. We all stayed behind her and… Oh my god… Just… This was not happening… This… Please, no… Let this be a bad dream!

I stopped dead in my tracks. My vision instantly began to blur with tears. Rainbow Dash was ahead of us, her body hunched over James' armored torso with her face buried in her arms. And James… Completely motionless, lying in a pool of his own blood. A trail of that blood led further ahead and… No… I could not even bring myself to look directly at it. Whatever was left of Discord, I never want to know. But what truly caught my attention was his hand. It had fallen in the center of a circle…of our cutie marks drawn out in his blood.

The instant I saw that, I could not contain myself. I burst into sobs as the tears flowed. He… I cannot believe what we did to him… And in the end, he was still thinking of only us… We all drew near, tears falling from each of us. Fluttershy said nothing, completely silent. She was in shock. It was Rarity who broke the silence, her voice breaking while she held a hoof to her eyes. "How… How did it come to this…"

Applejack could not even speak. I saw her grit her teeth before she pulled her hat's brim down to cover her face while she bowed her head. I reached out and tenderly touched James' cheek… He was…cool… I will never forget that feeling… Never in my life… My friend… Our friend was… What had we done…

Pinkie Pie stepped forward, her mane having been partially deflated. She was struggling to hang on. To hold on to at least a little of her optimism. "Rainbow… Is he… Did he really…"

Our friend finally and painfully slowly lifted her head and turned to face us. Her eyes looked puffy and swollen, her cheeks stained with tears. And that look in her eyes… The brash and confident mare I had known since the first day I came to Ponyville was nowhere to be seen in there. She was broken. Scarred. What she said next was barely a whisper and was a struggle for her. "I…couldn't do anything…"

I could not believe what I was seeing. I knew the pain of having a friendship nearly fall apart. But the pain of losing a friend forever…through your own failure… There are no words to describe that pain! I found him in the labyrinth. He insisted that we split up to find the Elements of Harmony to cover more ground… If only I had guessed that they were being hid inside Discord's own body. I should have stayed with him regardless! If I had been there for him, this would never have happened! If only I had stayed with him, maybe… Maybe he would still be with us…

Fluttershy was the next to speak while we all could do nothing but reel with the horror of what had become of our friend. I could hear it in her voice. She was struggling to keep herself composed enough to speak. "We promised you… Ourselves… We promised we wouldn't let this happen again… And now look at you… I'm so sorry… I wish it was you who kicked me…"

I could not even bear to look at him… I turned away. But when I did… His helmet. It was nearby. And still embedded into it, the Element of Humanity. An Element… Just like ours. White as snow, twin doves were nestled in it. I felt a glimmer of resolve fill me. I was not going to give up on him now. Not yet. Not until we could be certain he was gone. "No… Not like this."

Applejack was the first to look at my way, lifting her hat just enough for me to see her face. "Huh? Whaddya mean, Twi…?"

I had to remind them of what we had been through before. "This wouldn't be the first time I nearly lost a friend. I'm not giving up on him. I refuse to believe he's gone… We need to get him to a hospital right away. We're the ones responsible for this happening to him, so it's our responsibility to make sure he survives this."

My friends started to look at me, eyes filled with tears, but with glimmers of hope in them as well. Rainbow Dash was the first to comment. "Yeah… We did screw up, didn't we…?"

"That doesn't mean we have to fail in at least trying to fix things. I know where the hospital in Canterlot is. I can get us all there." I then looked down at James again. His face was still. Eyes almost completely closed. I could only hope that… Please, do not let it be too late. "I don't want to say goodbye… Not after only one year…"

Pinkie Pie finally managed to crack a faint smile while her mane and tail regained their original poofy form. "Me neither… James is our friend and…I'll never feel right until he forgives us."

All of my friends managed to give me faint tearful smiles. Fluttershy, more than anypony, had a look of sheer desperation in her eyes. We had to try… But still, we could not just leave the Element of Humanity behind. The others could wait, but we had to at least bring that one along. "All right. Rarity, could you retrieve his helmet?"

"Gladly." She used her levitation spell to bring it over to the rest of us. "Now then, let's be on our…"

She froze the instant it happened. We all saw it. When the helmet drew near, it tilted forward and… The Element fell out.

It felt like time had started to slow. We did not breathe or speak. We could only watch in silent shock. And the instant it hit the ground… That sound… I will never forget it. The Element of Humanity shattered right in front of us.

So many white shards littered the ground. And when the wind kicked up… Like delicately sculpted piles of dust, the fragments disintegrated while the tiny particles were carried away. As that happened, the helmet faded away as well. Becoming translucent until it was no longer there. And along with the helmet and the shards, the hope I had in my heart faded too. The Element of Humanity… Gone.

Why… The Element of Humanity, like the Elements of Harmony, is supposed to always be bound to the object it was set into. It could never be removed, let alone shattered! So why… No… Just… There is only one possible… But I could not accept it!

My friends… They were giving me the same horrified stare I was giving them. They all knew what this meant too. But nopony could bring themselves to speak it. Eventually though, Applejack was the first to talk. "Twi… Am I the only one here who thinks that meant what I think it did?"

My eyes turned towards James. He looked so…pale. I could not even tell if he was breathing… Panic filled my heart. We had to go right away! "We need to go! Everypony stay close to me!"

I focused as hard as I could. I had never transported so many of us with the teleportation spell before. And James' added mass made it exceptionally challenging. But a moment later, I opened my eyes as a great deal of mental pressure left my head. We were inside the lobby of Canterlot Royal Hospital.

Pinkie Pie was the first to rush to the receptionist's desk the instant we became completely aware of where we were. "Emergency! Friend's in trouble! Help him, please!"

The receptionist, a young unicorn mare, looked up with a bit of a startled gaze after being caught by surprise. "Huh?! There's no need to shout, miss! Now, what is the pro… Oh my goodness!"

It only took one look at James' unconscious form and bloodstained armor for the receptionist to know what was wrong. She immediately pressed a button on her desk before speaking into an intercom. "We have patient in critical condition at the front desk. Extra large."

I was a little puzzled why she would mention a size, but I soon found out why. A moment later, a pair of nurses turned around the corner from the nearest hallway with a gurney that seemed to be just big enough to hold his entire body. With a levitation spell, they carefully placed his body on it before carting him off to the emergency room.

I should have been feeling much better by then. All of us should have. But the Element of Humanity… It shattered… Vanished. Why would it do that? Its bearer was still there. And all my friends knew it. We all looked at each other. The same looks of terror in our eyes.

We did not even say anything. We just ran down the hall where the nurses had gone. And we soon came to it. A pair of swinging doors with a backlit red sign above it reading ER. Outside it were a few cushioned seats, possibly for family and loved ones of patients to wait for a surgeon to emerge with news of the patient's fate. And that is where we stayed.

Pinkie Pie was constantly pacing back and forth, looking like she was on the verge of panic. Rarity was constantly comforting Fluttershy, who just could not stop crying. I wish there was something I could do… Anything at all. Applejack was constantly by Rainbow Dash's side while…

Rainbow… I have never seen her in such a pathetic state before. She was holding a paper bag to her mouth while constantly breathing hard into it. She was hyperventilating. I kept hearing her mutter the same words over and over every few seconds. "He's gonna be fine… He's gonna be fine…"

She will never admit it to anyone who is not part of her circle of dearest friends, but I know Rainbow Dash has loved James for a while now. I mean…really loved him. I can only imagine what she must have witnessed once she was by his side after she got her wings back…

My chest hurts so much… I have never been this terrified in my life. I even feel sick… Like I could vomit at any time. Pinkie seems to be suffering the exact same way, groaning in discomfort. "It hurts… Why does it hurt so much?!"

"It means yer scared, Pinkie. And believe me, so am I…" Applejack replied while fanning Rainbow Dash with her hat in her mouth. Rainbow almost seemed oblivious to us all, her eyes occasionally glancing at the doors behind me.

"Me too… He's… I'm gonna lose him…" Fluttershy squeaked out before burying her face in Rarity's shoulder once more. Her crying was constant. It was not enjoyable to hear, but it would be fruitless to ask her to even try to stop.

Fortunately, Rarity was constantly caressing Fluttershy's shoulder. "Shhh… Don't say that, dear. He'll survive… He has too. He loves us too dearly to die now. He knows we don't want to lose him…"

"No… He doesn't know that." We all looked at Pinkie Pie. That look of absolute anguish in her eyes. She was in terrible emotional pain. "He doesn't know we're still his friends. And if he dies before we can tell him…"

I did not have much hope left. She was right. James has to survive… He should not be allowed to die not knowing that we still care for him as his friends. Still, I had to say something. "He won't die, Pinkie. He can't die… Not now… He has too many friends waiting for him at home. He'll be leaving so much behind if he…"

I paused when I heard a sound behind me. The doors to the ER had opened, revealing a unicorn stallion clad in a surgeon's light blue attire. He took one long look at us while we looked back. His expression was forlorn, as if he had some bad news. "Are all of you friends of the human man who was just brought in?"

Something was wrong… It had not even been ten minutes since James had been admitted to the ER. It was far too soon for them to have stabilized his injuries. We had all ceased what we were doing and looked on in unease. Finally, it was Rarity who approached the doctor as she walked past me. "We are, doctor. And James… What is the diagnosis? Is it bad? How long must he remain hospitalized?"

The doctor seemed to hesitate. He stepped closer and whispered something into Rarity's ear. For some reason, she did not react at all. The doctor then bowed his head in silence before turning and going past the doors again.

"Well… What's the doc have ta say about 'im, Rarity?" Applejack asked while we all drew near. Only Rainbow Dash remained seated in her chair.

Rarity did not budge. She did not even speak. What did the doctor tell her? Fluttershy then asked with fear lingering in her voice. "Is he… A coma?"

After a moment more of no response from her, I finally decided to speak. "Rarity… Please… Tell us the truth. What is wrong with James? What did the doctors find?"

It was then that Rarity started to turn to face us. But when she did… Those eyes… The tears were just…cascading down her cheeks. Her gaze… It was filled with horror and remorse. Utterly broken. She did not speak. But her eyes said it all. And it was more than we could bear.

Pinkie Pie began to twitch as she grit her teeth. She took a few steps forward as the tears built at her eyelids. "No… Rarity, he was lying! Tell us he was lying!"

Rarity had no words to say. She averted her eyes for just a moment before collapsing to the floor. She wailed. Screamed without words before burying her face in her arms. And soon…we all joined her. Pinkie's mane and tail instantly deflated to that long and hanging style I had seen only once during the first birthday party for her we threw in Ponyville. She struggled to hold it in, but she too collapsed in tears, weeping like I had never seen before. And before long, she grabbed the paper bag Rainbow Dash had been using and…into it… It was so disgusting, but I could hardly care. I could not hold it in either. This was not happening… He could not be gone… He just can't…!

Fluttershy… She only looked on in silence before… She fell. Hit the floor on her side with a thud as tears oozed from her nearly closed eyes… Fainted. It was too much for her mind to endure. And I… I struggled to remain standing. I could not believe it… I could not accept it! One of the dearest friends I have ever known… I loved him… He… No… Please, this has to be a nightmare! Somepony wake me up! Please, don't let this be the end!

I found support in Applejack's embrace. But she too… She was crying harder than I had ever seen before. She and James were never terribly close, but… They were still friends. And she was mourning all the same. But…that sound… Chuckling?

I turned to face the faint sound's source and… Rainbow Dash. Her head was bowed while she chuckled lightly. But soon…she lifted her head, loud and wild laughter escaping her throat. Her eyes… It was one of the most horrifying expressions I had ever seen. It was as if she had gone mad. But tears were still flowing constantly. Just when I was worried that we were going to have to call security, she fell right out of her chair and onto the floor. And from then on… All I heard from her was quiet sobs. She… We were all suffering… And it was all our fault… Our friend… James was…no more.

I do not how much time passed. It was just…a symphony of sorrow. Everything was a blur for a while, but I found myself back in the lobby with all my friends. Well…all but one. I could not… I cannot accept it… He can't be gone… He just can't be!

Eventually… I am not sure when, but… Eventually, our crying ran its course. Fluttershy slowly awoke while Rarity caressed her face with a wet rag one of the nurses provided for her. She did not speak though. She was still in shock. None of us did. Although finally, Applejack asked the most important and dreaded question possible. "How're we gonna tell everypony…"

"Tell them what… That we're the ones who're responsible for him being dead?" Rainbow Dash bitterly retorted as she held her head in her hooves. I could still see the tears flowing from her eyes. With the exception of Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, she was the only one who was still crying. I… I just felt numb. I wanted to cry. I wanted to express my pain, but… Nothing came. But she was right… Discord may have set things into motion… But the ones most responsible… The blame is entirely ours…

"What can we tell them… Sweetie Belle would be heartbroken. And… Oh no… What of little Scootaloo?" Rarity gasped as a new fear appeared in her eyes. Oh no… Scootaloo. In just a week or so, it will have been a full year since he adopted her as her big brother. James is… No… He was the only family she had ever known… But… We cannot hide the truth from her forever. What were we going to do? What could we do?

Even so, there was one thing we had to do first. My heart was still heavy, but we had a duty to fulfill. "First… We should return to the princesses… We need to tell them what has happened…"

"We shouldn't… Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon will hate us…" Pinkie Pie said with a truly guilty stare while she looked at the floor. Of course… James and Princess Luna… And Nightmare Moon… They both shared a special bond with him… And James is entirely the reason why Nightmare Moon is with us now as a friend. But we cannot hide the truth. Sooner or later, they would notice the horrifying state of the area outside the labyrinth. It would be better if we told them before they could discover it. And Discord's mangled corpse…

I looked at my friends. I did not want to even move, but we had a job to finish. "I don't want to tell them either… But they'll see what happened anyway at some point. We need to tell them… I'm going. Are you coming?"

It was Fluttershy who replied first. She weakly nodded her head before staggering to her feet. "I'll go…"

One by one, my friends joined me and we began the long and slow walk back to the palace. None of us even said a thing. The gloomy cloudy weather did not help the mood either. The stone streets were still wet and lined with puddles. I cannot remember the last time I saw it rain in Canterlot while I was visiting…

I paid no attention to anything except for the path ahead of me. The guards did not hinder us at all once we arrived at the castle. I dumbly followed the rugs and the polished floors entirely from memory without even looking at my surroundings until we stood before the great doors that stood before the throne room. I took one look back at my friends. They were still in pain, but they glumly nodded together. It was time to relay the news to our rulers.

I gently pushed the doors open. Standing at the far end of the room before the throne were the three majestic rulers of our kingdom. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Nightmare Moon. They were gazing at us with rather worrisome expressions. As we entered, Princess Celestia spoke in a puzzled tone. "Welcome back, all of you. Are you well? You look…horrible."

Nightmare Moon then joined in. "And what has become of the Elements of Harmony? I do not see them."

It was then Princess Luna's turn to speak. "And what of Discord? We have been observing Ponyville for some time and it seems that his chaotic influence is slowly fading. The Elements of Harmony have not yet been used. You did not happen to convince him to surrender, did you?"

Which of us was going to be the one to speak the truth? I did not even have the heart to say it myself. And the princesses… They could tell something had gone very wrong. Eventually though, it was Rarity who took a step forward. "Your highness… Discord… He… He is no more."

Princess Celestia cocked her head to one side with a perplexed expression. I can understand why. I doubt she ever even imagined Discord could be killed. Even her sisters seemed equally baffled. "I beg your pardon? What do you mean? How can he be no more?"

Applejack then stepped forward while using her hat to hide her black eye. "Well... Uh… James tricked 'im… Somethin' about some 'Ultimate Game'. He somehow got Discord ta remove his own immortality. And… He's dead, yer highness… Discord's dead…"

That look of shock on their faces. Those words were probably the one thing they never dreamed they would hear. Princess Luna spoke first. "You cannot be serious… Discord… The Spirit of Chaos… He has finally been slain?!"

Nightmare Moon was less sympathetic in her choice of words. But I was not surprised either. "I suppose it was only a matter of time before that fool bit off more than he could chew. With all said and done, Equestria will be better off without him."

Princess Celestia was slow in her response. She almost seemed like she was in a mild state of shock. Eventually, she did finally speak a reply. "I see… So… Discord has finally met his end… I would never have wished that upon him, but… Perhaps it is for the best. His reign of chaos has ended for good." However she then cast a very worried gaze towards us. "But still… You said James killed him? That… It truly does not sound like him to wield fatal force. I will have to speak to him over this. He must likely be haunted by such actions…"

Rainbow Dash let out a long sigh as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I don't think that's possible anymore…"

"Not possi… What are you saying?" Nightmare Moon spoke up with a tone that contained a hint of alarm. "Wait… Where is he? Why is he not with you?"

There was no turning back. I knew then that we could not hide it any longer. So I took it upon myself to speak it. But…it was so hard to actually say it. I could feel tears once again filling my eyes, ready to spill forth. "Your majesties… James is… We… The truth is…" Finally, I nearly collapsed as I fell to my knees. "We failed!"

Princess Celestia was quick to approach me, though Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon remained by the throne. "Be calm, Twilight. I can see that something is on each of your minds. Tell us what happened. It will be all right."

If only she knew… Even so, I tried to tell her all that happened. "We all promised ourselves… We promised that we wouldn't let Discord get to us a second time. Not just for each other, but for James too. And…"

Pinkie Pie then spoke for me while she too tried to hold back her tears. Her voice sounded like it could break at any time. "We… We couldn't keep it… He got to us and just touched us and…"

"Go on…" Princess Celestia said softly, although I could see a faint look of horror starting to fill her eyes. I think she was starting to understand what I was trying to say.

It was so hard to bring myself to explain everything. But I had to. They needed to know. "Rainbow Dash and I… I don't think Discord reached us. But…" I glanced at my four friends. Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. They all cringed in guilt. "The rest of us… Discord corrupted them directly. With just a touch, I was told… And James… He found them in the labyrinth…"

My gaze looked past Princess Celestia. Nightmare Moon… She was there with us when we made that promise… I remember seeing something in her eyes while she stood by the throne. Something I had not seen since the first time I saw her within Ponyville's town hall three years ago. A slowly building wrath. She stayed where she was though and did not make a sound. And so I continued. "It broke him… We were the most important people in his life and… James fled the labyrinth and challenged Discord to some sort of 'Ultimate Game'. Before it started, Discord conjured up some sort of mirror that showed us what was happening… I thought we were watching some sort of illusion. Like a movie film. But… Just look out the window!"

"The window?!" Princess Luna then rushed to the nearest stained glass window at the northern end of the room. The glass's clarity must have been very clear because she soon called for her sisters. "By the stars… Sisters! You must see this!"

Both Nightmare Moon and Princess Celestia hurried to Princess Luna's side while we stayed where we were. I heard Nightmare Moon mutter quietly, "This… That cannot be Discord's work…"

"Scorched trees… Lingering ice spires… My god, he actually used them… All I heard were distant booms and only felt faint tremors, but I thought it was only thunderclaps from the weather we were experiencing…" Princess Celestia said in horrified whispers. What did Discord do? I am sure they must have at least occasionally looked out the window at some point. What did he do to prevent them from noticing that something was wrong?

"He deceived Discord into locking away all but his most basic magic. Even his own immortality…" I could feel the tears building again… Those horrific scenes… I had never seen so much red in my life… "He went mad! Started taking pleasure in tormenting Discord! And all that magic he used… Fire, ice, lightning… And even something else… It looked like a small sun!"

That last line caused Princess Celestia to look at me with a glance of fright. "Plasma?! He dared to use plasma magic?! We had not even begun training him to utilize it! He must have been entirely out of his mind! It could have destroyed him!"

"But he WAS out of his mind… He was constantly smiling… Laughing… I thought he was going to destroy us all until he launched it into the horizon at just the last second… I saw it in his eyes when he did. So much pain. Even in madness, he was still holding us close to his heart…" I honestly thought I was going to die the moment that glowing orb of yellow energy stopped growing… I could even feel the heat from inside the labyrinth.

Once more, Princess Celestia stood before me while Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon watched from nearby. "Well… It is a miracle he did not destroy himself in the process. He had not yet mastered either of the elemental magical energies within his gauntlets. But what of James? What happened in the end?"

My friends looked on in silence. They were dreading what I was about to say. I was too. And it hurt to recall it. "He… He allowed Discord to land a mortal wound… But it was just to humiliate him further! And when he finally plunged his sword through his face… I couldn't watch! I had to look away! But I could still hear it! Over and over, laughing the entire time!"

Those looks of absolute horror on her and Princess Luna's faces. I could not believe the things I was saying myself. It felt…so alien to me to even be describing such things. "He killed Discord…but right after that he… He regained himself… He was broken. Empty… Discord's magic wore off when he died, since my friends were back to normal when I found them. I got us out of the labyrinth, but… James…" I burst into tears once more while hanging my head low. "The moment we got out of the labyrinth… We were already too late… He's dead! He's dead and it's all our fault!"

I could hear my friends struggling to hold back their own tears. But aside from that, the chamber was deathly silent. I soon looked up at my mentor, her face frozen in a look of absolute shock. Princess Luna as well looked on from nearby, equally horrified as if she could not comprehend what she had just heard. Nightmare Moon though… Her expression remained eerily stone faced. Finally, Princess Celestia spoke in a tone that I had never heard her use before. "Twilight… You cannot be serious. He was with us not even three hours ago and… Are you absolutely certain?"

"The Element of Humanity fell out of his helmet when we tried to take it with us… It shattered…and the helmet vanished… We got him to the hospital, but… When the doctor came out of the ER after James had been admitted…" I spoke in dread before turning to Rarity. She knew what the doctor told her.

My friend nodded towards me in tears and managed to squeak out a raspy response, her voice weakened from all the crying she had done. "I was told… He was dead on arrival… We were too late from the start…"

There was another moment of silence. But seconds later, I heard the clopping of hooves rapidly drawing closer. When I looked to my right, I saw Princess Luna drawing near just a second before she reached out and grabbed me by the shoulders. Her expression was panicked. Her eyes filled with desperation. "Twilight… Tell me this is some jest. You cannot be serious in what you are saying! He's not truly gone! Tell me he still lives!"

Princess Luna… She had been close to James since the day they both met. I saw them when they first spoke. The moment when she nearly accidentally blew him down the stairs of the library's loft by using the Royal Canterlot Voice. How overjoyed she was when he praised her for weaving the night. And now… I could not even imagine what was going through her mind. He was likely the first friend she had made…since she was purified by the Elements of Harmony three years ago. I… I could not tell her the truth…but I could not bring myself to lie to her. I looked at her in silence before looking away, unable to even look directly at her.

She soon let go of me. Her beautiful teal eyes began to quiver while she backed away. Princess Celestia looked on, not a word coming from her. "This can't be… He's not… Discord would never…" And then…the tears came. The Princess of the Night yelled at the ceiling in what I could only say was a fusion of rage and agony. "How could you, Discord?! How could you?!"

I cannot even describe how painful it was to see somepony as strong as one of Equestria's princesses brought to her knees in sorrow. James… He must have meant so much to her. And now he was gone forever…and all because of us. I felt so sick with myself… Like I wanted to just disappear…

"You failed him…?" I felt a new chill in my blood as my eyes glanced towards Nightmare Moon. Her head was bowed, tears just then starting to spill over her closed eyelids. Her voice… It was monotonous. But I felt something in the air. It was heavy. I felt myself back away slowly, as did the rest of my friends. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna too watched her in silence.

"I witnessed you vow to keep him safe… That man… A hero of Equestria… You cast aside your vows… Allowed him to die… You are all…" Suddenly, her eyes opened while she bared her teeth. They were filled with a familiar white glow, her horn suddenly engulfed with electrical magical energies while her mane and tail billowed fiercely! And then…she leapt through the air on spread wings directly for us. "TREASON!"

I honestly thought that was the end for us. But instead, I heard a clash of sorts. When I looked again, I saw Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing between us and Nightmare Moon, their horns aglow while they projected a barrier to hold her off. Princess Celestia glanced at us over her shoulder and called out. "Go! Barricade the doors!"

There was nothing either of us could say. We all fled. Slammed the doors behind us before piling as much furniture as we could find in front of it. But even then, I could still hear a battle raging behind it. The muffled wrathful roars of Nightmare Moon combined with the sounds of bursts of magic exploding upon contact. My heart was pounding… Not just with the horror of knowing what we had lost, but knowing that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna's lives were likely in danger just on the other side of that door.

My friends and I watched the pile of clutter constantly. We did not leave. Although I soon heard Fluttershy whisper in horror. "She… She tried to kill us…"

"Can you really blame her…?" Pinkie Pie replied weakly. I almost did not even recognize her voice at first. It sounded so…lifeless.

The noise on the other side of the door raged for maybe a good five minutes. I kept hearing Nightmare Moon roaring words such as 'They must pay' and 'Traitors' and so forth. But finally, the noise finally stopped. My heart nearly stopped with it. Were they even still alive? Nightmare Moon is powerful, but surely Princess Celestia… All right, using the word 'princess' in their title is repetitive. Surely Celestia and Luna combined were able to overwhelm her.

Soon, we heard it. The door creaking as someone tried to open it from the other side followed closely by the muffled sound of Celestia's voice. She sounded tired. Almost like she was gasping for breath. "Hello? Are you still out there?"

"We are, your highness! Is it safe now?!" I replied right away, praying that Luna was safe as well.

"Good… You can unblock the door now. The danger has passed." Rarity and I immediately began using the levitation spell to remove the piled furniture and set them aside. But when we opened the door… I felt a powerful sting in my spine. Celestia… Her coat singed, a trickle of blood from her mouth, her golden jewelry dented and scraped… What happened in there?

"Yer highness…?! Are ya all right?!" Applejack asked while we all drew near.

Celestia let out a long sigh, but then cringed as she limped forward. It seemed that she had bruised or twisted an ankle in the scuffle. "Yes… I'll be fine… And my sisters will be as well."

We immediately looked past her. I gasped in fright. The throne room was… A broken window here, a chunk of the wall blasted off there, a torn and burned banner hanging nearby… It was a mess. And… Nightmare Moon was collapsed upon the floor. I saw…blood… She was bleeding. But Luna was standing near her. Her injuries seemed to be similar to Celestia's, but she seemed to be all right. Well, about as all right as a heartbroken mare could be… She lowered her horn to Nightmare Moon's head and seemed to cast a spell on her. "Sleep now, sister… We will speak soon…"

Pinkie Pie tried to approach the two princesses of the night, but Princess Celestia spread one wing to block her. "No… Nightmare Moon… She needs to be left alone for now… There are no words to describe how fractured her soul is now…"

She then looked at us. She knew what we wanted to ask and began to speak softly. "You cannot comprehend what your friend meant to my sister. Days rarely went by without her speaking his name at least once. He was far more than a friend to her. He was…her world. And I am doubtful she will ever recover from this…"

"And we're the ones who destroyed that world…" Rainbow Dash spoke with a choked sob. I knew Nightmare Moon and James were close, but… It hurts to even think of that.

"No, Rainbow Dash… This is not your doing, nor is it James' doing." Princess Luna was approaching us. Her cheeks were still stained with tears, but she was maintaining her composure enough to speak. "This is all Discord's doing… I knew his insatiable lust for chaos and entertainment would lead to his undoing someday. But this… He was a mad fool. A cunning fool, but a fool all the same." I know what she said was true. Discord… If he had only stayed in his stone prison… Maybe… No, I know for sure James would still be with us… But still… If that is true, why do I still feel like I am partly to blame…?

"But…what now…?" Fluttershy said with a whisper. I am amazed she was even talking at all. Her eyes looked…empty.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other. But it was then I saw something I did not expect. A lone tear trickled down Celestia's cheek when she looked back at us. "Your friend was my sister's very first friend since her return to the throne. Your friend assisted you in ending Nightmare Moon's eternal night once again. Your friend did the impossible and gave us Nightmare Moon as a sister and friend… There is only one thing we can do for him now."

Luna then spoke while clearly attempting to at least try to show a tiny smile. "We will prepare a hero's farewell." She then turned to Pinkie Pie, who also looked back with a bit of a look of surprise. "Miss Pie, you likely know of all of the friends he made during his time in Equestria. Please come with me. We need to send invitations to alert them to their friend's passing."

"Uh huh… I'll help…" Pinkie Pie then followed Luna down the hall. I… How many friends did James make over the last year…

"Come… You must all be exhausted. You may all stay here in the palace for the night." Celestia was right… I really was not in the mood to go anywhere. But I had to at least send word to Spike to make certain he would know I would not be home this night. And to let him know to make sure Mitta was to watch Rarity's home for the evening and to make certain Fluttershy's animal companions would have to look after themselves until tomorrow. And… Scootaloo… What is she going to do when she finds out that her adoptive brother… He was the only family she has ever known… Sweet Celestia, what are we going to tell her?!

My head hurts… I cannot keep writing. It is late now anyway… Just… Please. Let this all be a nightmare. Let me wake up and find James still alive and well. Let us meet up for lunch at the café and share some tea at my place… Please… Please, let me wake up…

* * *

This day… How has it come to be this way? Just hours ago… Mere hours ago, he stood before me alive and well. Fear had grasped my heart tightly. We armored him, bestowed our mightiest creations upon him, and yet I still feared what would become of him should Discord sink his hooks into him… I just could never have imagined that my friend would have ripped himself away and pulled his angler into the lake to devour him!

My friend… James, how did this happen? How could Discord have done this to you? I knew you well, my friend. To see the landscape around the labyrinth so ravaged… I dread to know what madness must have sunken into your mind during your final hours. What did Discord do to you to have you turn the tables on him so thoroughly?

The day is nearing its end. The sun is setting over the horizon as my sister works her will, lowering it in the sky as the horizon turns a beautiful shade of pink and orange. However… I cannot bring myself to raise the moon to begin the night. What is the point… He is no longer here to witness it as I stand upon the balcony just outside my chambers. How ironic… I once sought to bring eternal night to earn the love and adoration of my subjects. Now I cannot bring myself to begin it now that the one person in the world who truly appreciated it is gone…

I heard the doors to the balcony swing open. And sure enough, my sister stood before me. Celestia, Princess of the Dawn. Her eyes… So forlorn. "Sister… Why have you not started to raise the moon? It is your duty to do so to begin the night. I have lowered the sun, but you must do your part to complete the transition."

The sun hung low in the sky, but stubbornly remained peeking over the horizon as if awaiting its twin to rise in the deep blue canvas that was forming in its wake. But I could not… "What is even the point… He is no longer here to witness it."

I saw my sister's ears droop while she sighed deeply. She knew all too well why. She was there with me when the six bearers of the Elements relayed to us the news of his demise. "Luna… I know you were close to him. But you cannot allow your feelings to cloud your judgment. As Equestria's rulers, we must…"

I could not stand by silently. She still could not understand! Even then, I could feel the deeply buried wounds resurfacing after so long. "What do you know?! You know it as well as I do, sister! He was the first friend I ever gained since the day you and I claimed the throne! Century after century, they all turned a blind eye to my life's work! Hardly anypony even noticed! Until he came…"

The tears flowed once more. I could barely remain standing. Celestia… My beloved sister rushed to my side, allowing me to rest against her. "He was the first… The first to ever thank me for what I have done… So many have partaken in the night's charms, but he… The first to openly praise it… What is the point of beginning the night…if the one man in the world who truly appreciates its beauty no longer lives to bask in it…?"

"Luna… Dear sister…" Her voice… It was breaking. When I turned my gaze upward, I saw the one thing I did not expect. Tears. She too was weeping. "I know… Trust me, I know… For he…was my friend too…" She lowered her head and I saw it. A gold band resting at the base of her horn lined with shimmering amethysts. A gift from our fallen friend.

"You too…? I thought you…" I was at a loss for words. Celestia had always handled loss so well. She always seemed so strong and yet…

"It feels like we had only truly started to bond over this last month… He was always so kind to you and Nightmare Moon. And I too began to experience that genuine sweetness for myself… I wish I could have gotten to know him as well as either of you… And now…I will never have the chance to finally ask him if…we could be friends…" Her face was frozen, yet the tears fell regardless. "I know your pain, Luna… It is mine as well. I viewed him as my friend as well…but I will never know if he viewed me the same way…"

We just stood there, resting against each other in our moment of need. Our friend was gone. And yet, one question remained in my mind. Why. Why did this happen? What could drive my dear gentle friend into the bowels of madness that would result in his own demise? "I wish I knew… How did this happen… What broke him, sister? What did this…?"

A sniffle escaped her nostrils before Celestia spoke softly into my ear. "You know the answer already, sister. You have seen Earth. And I have watched it for far longer. I have seen mankind's follies. I have witnessed their advancements. And I have witnessed their gradual decline. Our former friends of Equestria were mere mischievous children compared to some on that planet… I have seen good men driven to madness by despair and loss. And our friend… He was no different. The six bearers were…for lack of a better term…the foundation of his life in Equestria. His life here was built upon them. And when the people he most cherished were erased by Discord… That life ceased to be."

Such agony… I cannot even fathom the loss of what is most dear. I have felt want and desire for what I could not have, but never loss. Or at least never of that magnitude… James… My most precious friend. I should have never allowed you to follow your friends into the labyrinth. Your armor and weapons kept you safe, but they only served to secure your demise in the end…

"Please, sister… If you will not do it for your people, then do it in his memory…" Celestia whispered to me, her head rising while her horn remained coated by her golden magic aura. The sun was still waiting for her sister to rise before resting for the night.

My friend is gone. Never to return. I knew him for barely a year. And since the day we first revealed ourselves to him, he has been one of the most precious things in my life. My friend… I will…never forget you. James, bearer of Humanity. Your heart shared love like the gentlest dove. Your heart flew high and swift to strike like a wrathful falcon. And your heart turned black as night like the grimmest raven. Truly… Truly, you were the bearer of Humanity.

"I shall… For him." And so I cast my spell once more. Over the horizon, the moon hastily rose into the night sky. A pale crescent in the deep blue ocean above us while the sun finally faded from sight in the west. My friend… I pray that even from the heavens, you can see this. It is for you, just as you have always loved it.

Celestia gazed at me with a forlorn smile. For a moment, there were no words. In the end, it was I who spoke first. "It is done…"

"I know. And thank you, Luna. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?" Even in her own sorrow, my sister was still looking out for me. I cannot imagine being without her at all.

A long sigh escaped my lungs. There was only one desire in my heart then. A selfish desire, but a desire that was mine alone. "If you would grant this to me… I wish to be alone for the night… I only wish to wallow in mourning."

"Then I shall grant you your request. Mourn as long as you must." My sister replied before turning to leave. But just as she was on the verge of closing the doors to the balcony, she turned to face me once more. "Before I go… Our sister. Is Nightmare Moon…?"

"Slumbering in the high tower with the strongest containment barrier I could muster surrounding it. She has all that she needs in there… Do you feel it will be time to remove it soon?" I explained while turning my gaze to the tallest tower in the palace. It was nearby, its gilded spire standing tall against the night sky.

My sister's gaze became mournful once more. If she knows our sister as well as I do, then I knew why. "No, Luna… You know how dear to Nightmare Moon our friend was. I am certain we will be seeing her original wrathful visage once again very soon. Until she has truly healed, under no circumstances is that barrier to be removed."

I felt my heart sink at those words. Nightmare Moon is indeed precious to me. A true fellow sister of the night. And yet…I know her pain too well. I must wonder… Has she told Celestia the things she has told me? "I understand… It will be done."

"Thank you… Good night, dear sister. Please sleep peacefully." And with that, she was gone. And I was alone once more.

My heart still weeps… Will I see him in my dreams tonight? Will my friend be there to greet me? To embrace me? To enjoy a spot of tea with me? James… Your memory will never leave my heart… If only… If only there was a way to restore you to us… If only.

* * *

I got dragged out of the sack a bit earlier than I'm used to on this day. Something weird must have been up to get the captain of Canterlot's royal guard on the job. Well, this job is seldom easy. It was barely dawn when I heard banging on the door to our home. Cadence was the one to answer it. The voice I heard… It belonged to my right-hoof man. Estoc. I was too groggy to pay him any mind, so I went right back to bed. Or at least I would have if Cadence didn't come back to me.

"Armor? Dear, are you awake? Estoc just stopped by. Orders from Princess Celestia. He claimed that they were very urgent." I heard the beautiful voice of my wife. And sure enough, when I forced open my eyes, there she was.

"Ugh… Urgent, huh? OK, I'll get on it… Would you mind whipping up some coffee? Extra strong with a lot of cream?" I was definitely needing a little boost to help me get started.

"Absolutely, dear. You just come right on down when you're ready." She replied before placing a little kiss on my nose. Oh, Cadence… How did a guy like me end up with such a wonderful mare?

Anyway, I took a quick shower to help wake myself up before putting on my armor and helmet. Just got them polished too. When I headed downstairs, I picked up that awful smell of a really strong batch of coffee being brewed. And right when I went into the kitchen, I found Cadence already pouring me a mug of it. "Just in time, dear. Careful, I just finished brewing it."

"Thanks, honey. Could you pass the creamer and sugar?" As much as I needed a boost to perk me up, there was no way I could drink that brew black.

"Absolutely. Just a moment." Cadence said while giving me a drowsy smile. It looked like we both woke up earlier than we wanted. A bit later and I mixed in some cold cream into my coffee. "You know… Did it feel like we didn't dream all that well last night?"

That was an odd question. But still… She seemed to have a point. "Now that you mention it… Yeah. I can't remember too well what I was dreaming about. I guess Nightmare Moon must've forgotten to tend to her duties last night. Although that was some odd weather yesterday. I don't recall us being scheduled for such a downpour."

Cadence looked towards the nearest window while she brewed herself some honey tea. The weather out there still looked a bit gloomy. "I actually can't remember the last time we were struck with any sort of weather that wasn't planned… If anything, I would probably say it was a bad omen."

"Yeah, the thunder was unusually strong too. I think I even felt some tremors in the ground now and then. Almost like some explosions were going off somewhere up here." I muttered casually while chugging my coffee. Had to get it down fast so I could report to the princesses right away.

"Would you like some breakfast before you head out? Maybe a waffle or two?" Cadence was already starting to sift through the cupboards to gather up the ingredients for some cooking. Too bad I was needed elsewhere.

"Sounds great, but I really shouldn't keep them waiting. I'll get back as soon as I tend to whatever business they requested of me. Wish me luck." One quick kiss goodbye later, I donned my helmet and hurried out the door. If only I knew what was waiting for me…

I hurried on over to the royal palace while finding the atmosphere to be very dreary from the high humidity and lower temperature brought on by the thick cloud cover. Upon asking my men who were stationed there if I was being expected, I was advised to head to the throne room. And so I did. Upon entering, I found Princess Celestia and Princess Luna standing before the throne. As per protocol, I bowed once I was standing before them. "Good morning, your majesties. You were expecting me?"

Something seemed off. Princess Celestia almost always greets me with a smile, but… At that moment, she seemed down about something. And where was Nightmare Moon? I normally see all three of them together whenever I'm requested to appear before them. Regardless, she was the first to speak. "Good morning, captain. And yes, we have need of you. We have debated on who would be best for the job, and we decided it should fall to you."

An odd job of sorts? It definitely wasn't like them to call me in for something like that. "Well… What would you ask of me?"

Princess Luna then proceeded to brief me on my orders. "Just yesterday, Discord, the Spirit of Chaos, escaped his stone confines once again. Your sister and her friends were once more called to Canterlot to deal with him using the Elements of Harmony."

Discord, huh? Even though I was stationed in Canterlot the first time he got loose, I have to say I'd never seen the guy aside from being stuck in stone right outside the labyrinth out back. "Him? Well, seeing as how things seem pretty normal right now, they must've succeeded."

"Well… They did…and yet they did not." Princess Celestia then started to speak. "Once more, Discord managed to steal the Elements of Harmony, forcing them into another game within the labyrinth out back. And this time around…James took part in the search as well."

I guess I wasn't entirely surprised to hear that James tagged along. It seems that whenever something big comes up that requires my sister and her friends to get involved; he is usually there with them. I'm not surprised though. They really are great friends and he's a really nice guy. "All right. But still… Everything turned out all right in the end, seeing as how the situation is normal, right?"

There was something very wrong with them… They both looked…anguished. Like there was some sort of pain gnawing away at them. Princess Luna once again spoke to me while her sister waited. "True… Things have returned to normal. But that is only because Discord is no more. Through events we could not have possibly foreseen, James challenged Discord to battle and…slew him."

I had to run those words past myself several times to properly process them. Discord… Some sort of immortal omnipotent being… Dead? And slain by the only human on the planet? "Uh… Wow. You're serious? James did that?! Man, I knew he would do well with that gear of his, but to actually take down someone as powerful as Discord?! That's… That's pretty awesome! Kinda morbid…but awesome! Where is he? I've gotta buy that man a drink sometime!"

Right when I said that… That look of anguish in their eyes just intensified. Princess Celestia was the one to answer my question. "Armor… James is dead."

…That had to be some sort of joke. I just stared at them for a good fifteen seconds before I could bring myself to say anything. "You… That's a joke, right? I mean… It's James. He had that armor. And that spectacular sword and shield. You can't really expect me to believe that he…"

Princess Luna raised her hoof, signaling for me to fall silent. "Shining Armor. Our friend is dead. He did indeed slay Discord, but he perished shortly afterward. His wounds proved fatal before he could receive aid."

They couldn't possible be serious about this. James… Dead? Impossible. I may not know him as well as my sister or any of her other friends, but… He wouldn't let himself die like that. And slaying Discord… Come to think of it, that sounded a bit farfetched in itself. Of all the people in my life, he is the last guy I would ever expect to kill another person. He's too gentle and reserved. He is not a warrior. But I decided to play along just to get to what was needed of me. "I see… Well, what is my task?"

Princess Celestia was the one to answer. "You are to venture out to the labyrinth and recover the Celestial Sword and the Lunar Shield. What is more, I have reason to believe the Elements of Harmony are out there as well. Find them and return with them. But be warned. The state of the area is…unsettling."

"Fuller and Lance will be assisting you in the search. It should not be difficult to locate them with three of you on the job." Princess Luna added right as I heard the clopping of hooves behind me. One glance to my rear revealed two of my men approaching. Lance and Fuller. Definitely some of the more seasoned guards in the force.

"You called for us, your highness?" Fuller asked while he and Lance bowed together.

"Yes. You will assist Shining Armor in locating the Elements of Harmony and the weapons of James just outside the labyrinth. Do not bother searching inside, they are likely somewhere outside its boundaries." Princess Celestia explained while clearly trying to keep a straight face in front of my men. Perhaps she didn't want to lower moral.

"Very well. Captain, your orders?" Lance asked while they turned their gazes to me.

All I could do was nod. I had to keep face for the sake of my men. "We have our orders. Let's move out. This shouldn't take too long. Shall we be on our way, your majesties?"

The Princess of the Night nodded while her sister remained silent. "Yes. You are dismissed."

However, just as I was about to leave the throne room with my men at my sides, I remembered something at the last second. "Wait… If you don't mind me asking, where is Princess Nightmare Moon? Isn't she normally with you?"

I heard a long sigh come from Princess Celestia. "Our sister is…not well, Armor. And I fear she will not be well for a long time to come. Please… Just tend to your duties and return once your task has been completed."

We did not object further. I could tell something was very wrong. But still… James being dead? That can't be right. It just couldn't…

While we made our way through the castle, Lance spoke up. "Captain… A rumor has been making its way through the ranks of the royal guard. They say that the Spirit of Chaos himself was slain just yesterday. Is it true?"

"I honestly don't know, Lance. But I'm certain we'll be finding out in just a few minutes." I replied while my head was swimming with uncertainty. This assignment had filled me with a new type of dread I had not ever felt before. And when we stepped out into the courtyard that separated the castle from the labyrinth… "Well, let's… Wha… Sweet lord, what happened here…"

There are no words I can use to describe the sorry state of the courtyard before us. Craters, mangled stretches of muddy earth, piles of rubble, uprooted trees… I would have commented further, but Fuller beat me to it. "What sort of battle happened here…? Did the princesses challenge Discord?"

The area was… It was exceptionally gloomy. I honestly just wanted to get this job over with and report back to the princesses. "I don't know… Let's just get started. Are there any questions?"

Lance spoke up right away. "Yes, sir. I have seen the Elements of Harmony before, but what exactly is the gear we are supposed to find? I was never aware that James was a warrior of any sort."

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I had only seen James in his armor once, so I doubt they ever saw him with his equipment. "There is a sword and shield. The Lunar Shield is very large and has Princess Luna's cutie mark emblazoned on the front. The Celestial Sword is a longsword with a crossguard designed to match Princess Celestia's cutie mark. Its blade is also pure white and seems to glow in poor lighting. Should be easy to spot. Now, spread out and find them."

For the next few minutes, the three of us searched all over the mangled landscape. I still could not fathom how the place had become that torn up. Was it Discord's doing? Or did James' armor possess power the likes of which I have never seen before? Eventually, I did find the Lunar Shield. It was lying face-up in the mud. And right as I lifted it with levitation magic, I saw Fuller and Lance coming my way. "I found the shield. What about you two?"

"Good news, sir. The Elements of Harmony are safe and sound. However… Well, you had better see this, captain." Fuller replied before dropping the six Elements from his wings. They all seemed to be there and accounted for, but… I staggered back at the sight of them. All six seemed to be splattered with dried blood. But… No, that could not have been Twilight's on the Element of Magic. If something had happened to her or her friends, the princesses would've told me at the first chance they got. They would never hide my sister's fate from me. So… Perhaps that was not their blood.

"Well… Looks like they could use some cleaning… But no sign of the sword? That white glow from the blade should make it easy to see in this gloom…" I was pretty surprised that neither of them had located the Celestial Sword. In such dull cloudy weather, it should've been giving off at least a faint glow.

"Actually, sir… We did find something else I thought you should see." Lance added before he dropped something from his wing. It seemed to be mostly bone with…roasted meat dotting its length? "I don't recognize the physiology, but… It seems to be a tail of sorts. Looks and smells like someone roasted it before partially eating it. Any idea where it came from?"

I was drawing blanks on that one. Where did it come from? Or rather, WHO did it come from? "I have no clue either… And I'm not sure I want to find out…"

Fuller seemed to scan the distance around us before pointing to an area behind me. "Uh… Captain, I see something glowing over there. But it's not white…"

When I turned around, I saw it too. A crimson glow was coming from something stationary in the distance. "Well, I'd say that warrants a check. Let's check it out. But proceed with caution."

Together, we approached the source of the crimson light. Once we got close enough, I stopped. I could make out the shape. It was a sword sticking out of the ground. And the crossguard had a very distinct sun shape. "That's it! The Celestial Sword! Although how did the blade turn red? It was never that color before…"

The three of us then proceeded with a swifter gait than before. However, a slight dip in the ground prevented us from seeing what the sword was actually sticking out of until we were right on top of it. And when I saw it… We stopped dead in our tracks. "Wha… My god, what is that?!"

Just… There are no words… I have seen spears skewer ravenous wild bears and my men groaning in agony as they are rushed bleeding to the hospital, but… This… There was nothing my training could have done to prepare me for what I saw at that moment. That form… It was Discord's corpse. Both legs severed at the knees, the left arm missing, the tail… Where was the…

I felt my stomach turn. The princesses claimed that it was James who took Discord down. Then that means… Did he seriously chop off the guy's tail and eat the flesh on it?! Lance must have been thinking the same thing since I then heard the unmistakable sound of someone vomiting right behind me. I didn't look to confirm it. A gash in the belly, too many impalement wounds to count, both wings missing… And the face… My god, the face… The Celestial Sword was sticking up through what was left of the head. The only way I can possibly describe the carnage before me was that it looked like someone had taken a fire axe to his face a few dozen times. I had to look away… I used the levitation spell to pull the Celestial Sword towards me and then take several steps backward.

"Captain… What is this?! Who did that?!" Fuller shouted while turning to face me. That look of utter horror in his eyes. Nothing we had ever been through could've prepared us for such a horrid sight. And the crimson glow of the Celestial Sword's blade… I could see why it was not white. The entire blade's length was coated in Discord's blood.

"He really did it… James actually killed this guy. But… This… This is just sick. James would never do something like this. This is… My god, what could drive a man to do something like this? What did Discord do to him?!" I could hardly think. Even now, I am trying to not remember the sight of what was left of Discord's face. There are just…no words.

I heard Lance wheezing while he turned his gaze to the ground nearby. "Captain… What's this?"

I took one look in Lance's direction and saw it. A trail of blood stains on the ground. It seemed to be leading away from Discord's corpse and towards the entrance to the labyrinth ahead. It did not come from him. It seemed to have come from someone else.

"Someone was standing over Discord before moving towards the maze… These indentations in the ground… They're consistent with the soles of human shoes… James made these." I started to follow the trail with my men behind me.

"These steps are unsteady. He was very weak… He stumbled here. And…he fell." The bloodstains went from splattered drops and bloodstained footprints to a long smear that stretched along the ground. "He crawled the rest of the way. He was bleeding the entire time. And heavily too… There's a lot of it pooled here. I think…this was as far as he got… Oh… James… This is what they meant to you?"

Just ahead of the largest accumulation of blood were six crudely drawn pictures of six objects I recognized. The shapes of the gemstones embedded in the Elements of Harmony. A butterfly, an apple, a balloon, a lightning bolt, a diamond, and a star just like on my cutie mark. Half of them seemed to be very crude, as if the artist's hand became very shaky from weakness brought on by heavy blood loss. I felt my throat tighten. Just knowing what must have happened right here… The princesses… They weren't joking at all. That spot was where James breathed his last breath…

Fuller spoke softly as he looked on in silence. I think both him and Lance were starting to catch on as well. "Captain… This spot… Is this where…?"

I turned and looked at my men. I could not believe it. But…the proof was right in front of me. "It is… This is the spot where James died."

My men gazed at each other in silent horror. Any professional composure they normally show was gone. And I cannot say I blame them. Lance hung his head, gazing at the blood drawings before us. "This can't be true… He was so young…"

"That's enough… We have what we came for, so let's report back. I wanna get away from this place right away…" Nopony objected. We gathered up what we found and rushed back into the palace. The princesses were not going to be happy with this…

We found both Princess Luna and Princess Celestia waiting for us in the throne room. Neither of us spoke immediately. And judging by those looks they were giving us, the princesses could tell that we had seen something horrific. Eventually, it was Princess Luna who spoke first. "I trust you were successful?"

I let out a long sigh and used the levitation spell to lightly toss what we found in front of me. "Yes, your highness… All the Elements of Harmony and the Lunar Shield and Celestial Sword are here and accounted for."

One look at the crimson blade of the sword caused Princess Celestia to cringe in horror. "Shining Armor… May I ask what you found out there? What has become of Discord?"

I bowed my head. I truly did not want to remember that sight. "You… You really don't want to know, your highness. We found him and… It was a bloodbath. I don't even want to know what James did to him… Trust me, you don't want to go out there right now…"

"I suppose I should not be surprised… Thank you, Armor. You are all dismissed." She replied with a forlorn frown. My men bowed and turned to leave, but I stayed behind.

"Before I go… My sister and her friends… Are they all right?" After seeing the state the Elements of Harmony were in, I was naturally concerned for my sister.

Princess Luna stepped forward while gently gathering up the eight bloodstained objects I had laid out before them. "They stayed here for the night. They may even be starting to wake up now. You are free to see them, if you desire. However, if they do not wish to indulge in your company, I advise you to leave them be, captain. They are…in mourning."

Mourning… I felt my heart sink. I left the room without a word. I began to wander the halls, half patrolling, half searching. My mind was in a haze. All I had seen and heard… It was so much to take in. But soon, I saw her. Wandering one of the outermost halls was my sister. Even though she was approaching me, she did not seem to notice me right away.

"Twily!" I instinctively called out to her with the playful nickname she has had all her life. That got her attention right away since she suddenly glanced up while I galloped towards her. She held out her arm and held me in a tender embrace as I did the same. "Are you all right? I found the Elements of Harmony stained with blood… I wasn't sure if it was yours or…"

I felt Twilight start to go limp in my grasp. I heard her whisper weakly. "The Elements… So… I wasn't dreaming after all…"

She looked so tired… Her eyes seemed swollen and bloodshot. As if she had been crying so much very recently. I could see it in those lovely purple eyes. And I knew what it was. "So… The princesses weren't joking… James. He's… He's gone, isn't he?"

Twilight did not even speak. She buried her face in my neck, crying harder than I'd ever heard before. I held her tenderly, trying to comfort her however I could. And as I did, I felt it. A tear trickled down my own cheek. I had been hoping that maybe he had survived and was merely in dire condition at the hospital. But…I know my sister would never lie to me about this. James… I first met him at the Grand Galloping Gala. I oversaw his training under Estoc the night he received his armor. And now… He was gone. We were never the best of friends, but… He was always one of the best friends my sister ever had. That made him a friend of mine too. And now… Gone forever…

I wasn't even sure of what to say. My sister was devastated. And I could only imagine how James' lover was handling his passing. Fluttershy… I cannot even fathom how broken she must be at this moment. Although I did finally manage to force out something. "He was a good man… I'm sorry…"

"I promised myself, Armor… I promised I wouldn't let Discord get to us. And now he's…" She finally lost her strength and dropped to her knees with me along with her. "I loved him, Armor… And I failed him…"

Twilight… I am not certain how many she has told, but… She has told me her true feelings on occasion when she visits. James was far more than a friend to her. I have seen them together now and then too. They were so much alike. Had such great chemistry too. If things had gone differently after he arrived in Ponyville, I would not be surprised if I found out that he was going to become my brother-in-law someday. And to see her like this… It would be the same to me if I lost Cadence.

"Twily… I… I want to say that everything's gonna be OK, but I know that would be a lie… How about I go get Cadence and we take you out for breakfast? Just the three of us, like old times. My treat." I had to do something for her. Anything to help. I could not just leave my little sister like that.

She nodded a little, but did not smile at all. "I… That sounds good."

I gave her cheek a tender nuzzle. I tried to smile, even though my heart was heavy as stone. Twilight insisted that she needed to be left alone for a little while, so I did just that. I had to go home and inform Cadence of what was going on. But on my way to the castle's entrance, I bumped into just who I was hoping I would see. Estoc was making his rounds. "Ah, good morning, captain. All's well over here."

"Good, good… Actually, Estoc… I have a special request for you." I trotted right up to him and gave him as serious a stare as I could. This was no joking matter.

He seemed to see how serious I was being about the whole thing and stood at attention. "Name it, sir."

I did not want to have to ask him for something like this, but all things considered… I needed the rest of the day to myself so I could be there for the one pony who needed me most. "For the remainder of the day, you are in command. A…personal family crisis has come up and my sister needs me. Can I ask that of you?"

"Really? Well… It shall be done, but… If you don't mind me asking, what has come up? It's rare for you to do this, captain." Yeah, I think I have only done something like this two or three times since I was promoted to the rank of captain a while ago. It was no wonder he was surprised. Estoc had only been promoted to his current rank very shortly after Twilight left for Ponyville a few years back.

I knew he was not going to believe me for an instant. The royal guard has not suffered a casualty since before I even joined the force as a fresh recruit. Even so, I told him the truth. "James fell in battle just yesterday and my sister is not taking the loss very well. She needs me."

Sure enough, Estoc cracked a smirk as he tried to not laugh. "Captain, you can't be serious. I have not lost a single rookie once and I strongly doubt James could have…" He stopped talking the instant I placed my hoof on his shoulder.

I looked Estoc dead in the eye. Never blinking. Never flinching. "Estoc. James is dead. And my sister is in mourning. You are in charge until tomorrow. Do I make myself clear?"

He remained stiff and silent as stone for a moment before he very subtlety nodded. I could tell my words were sinking in. "Yes, sir… I will inform the guards."

I had to return home right away. Everything just felt so…gloomy. The sky blanketed with gray clouds, the air thick with humidity, the ground still littered with leftover puddles from the downpour yesterday. It almost felt as if it felt the sky itself had been weeping. Then again, if it was alive, it likely witnessed whatever horror had happened around the labyrinth just yesterday. I can't help wondering what happened. I just can't get that painting of blood out of my head. Were those six drawings the last thing he ever did? Did he die alone? Could my men or I have done something to save him if we knew what was happening?

I reached my home without stopping once. I didn't want to keep Twilight waiting. And sure enough, I smelled some tea being brewed in the kitchen. And once I stepped inside, I found Cadence standing at the counter with a mug of warm tea in her hoof. Her mane and tail were still a bit unkempt, so she probably hadn't really woken herself up enough to prepare herself for the day. Regardless, she gave me a tender smile before greeting me. "That didn't take long. Is everything all right, dear?"

As much as I wanted to give her a smile, I just couldn't. Everything I had just heard was nothing to smile about. "Just a small recovery operation outside the labyrinth. Seems that Discord guy got loose again and…"

"Discord? I heard about that raving lunatic getting out a while ago, but Twilight and her friends put him back in his place, didn't they? Surely they succeeded again, right?" It was pretty hard to miss the first time he got loose. Although due to the surreal nature of his activities and the fact that he kept it mostly isolated to Ponyville at the time, I was not able to really do anything about it. I was expecting Discord to bring his chaos to Canterlot at some point where the royal guard and I would do our best to deal with him, but the Elements of Harmony were used before he had the chance.

I was hesitant to speak the truth. But I could not bring myself to lie to my wife. "From what I understand… No. They didn't get him this time. From what I saw and heard from the princesses… It was James who got him."

She paused while taking a sip of her tea. "I'm sorry… James? He got involved? How? After meeting him in person, I can't possibly see him getting into a fight. It sounds like the last thing he would ever do." The last thing… How ironic.

"Well, he was there. You remember back in May when the night didn't end on schedule, right? When I told you about the gear James had received? I'm guessing he used them. And… Well… He got him. Discord's dead, believe it or not… It must've been a bloodbath. The entire courtyard around the labyrinth is wrecked. And Discord's corpse… My god, I wish I could forget. Nothing I've seen on the job comes even remotely close to the condition he was in…" The sight of his face… It hurts to remember.

As I was expecting, Cadence looked like she was having a hard time grasping what I was saying. That look of horror on her face… "He… That doesn't sound like him at all… I remember feeling into his heart. He was filled with so much love… A seemingly bottomless supply. To do such a thing… It sounds unnatural! Someone as tender and gentle as him… Is he all right? His heart must be in turmoil after doing such a thing. I think I should go see him right away. I may be able to help."

"I'm afraid that's no longer possible, honey…" I was going to hate myself for telling her the truth, but it's not like I would be able to hide it forever. "James may have taken Discord down, but…according to the princesses…and even Twilight… It seems James…died shortly afterward."

There was the sound of ceramic shattering. Cadence lost her grip on her mug while her eyes opened wider than I had ever seen them. At first, it appeared that she couldn't even speak. But she did finally mutter out a reply. "He's… This can't be. This is… Armor, this is some sick joke, isn't it?"

I sighed hard. I did not want to believe it either. "I really wish I was kidding about this, Cadence. But I was there. I went out into that mess to recover James' weapons. I saw where he fell, dear. I saw…where he died. He likely bled to death. He's gone… I really don't want to admit it, but we lost a friend yesterday, Cadence. And…Twilight's taking it really hard…"

I stepped forward and gently held my wife in a tender embrace. I know she only met him a few times, but she always had a knack for becoming friends with those with just as much love in them as her. And James… Definitely one of the overall nicest guys I've ever met. Just… I still can't believe he's gone. Everything was just fine the last time I saw him. And then, right out of nowhere, everything was turned on its head.

"Honey… I invited Twilight out for breakfast with us. So we can spend a little time with her. She needs somepony there to support her, Cadence. Shall we go?" I asked while remembering what I needed to tell her. I did not want to keep my sister waiting in her time of need.

I felt her nod while returning my embrace. "I'd love to… It's been a while since the three of us last went out together. I'll go get ready…" She started to make her way out of the kitchen, but I noticed her gait was a bit…unsteady. She soon looked back at me, a few tears starting to build in her eyes. "Still… I just can't understand it. How? He was such a sweetheart…"

I took a moment to think back. Maybe remember something about what I saw that had slipped my mind. "Well… Judging by the severity of the damage to the surrounding area and the condition of Discord's corpse…and what I found near the spot where he died and taking into consideration what Twilight once told me about what Discord did to her friends the first time around… I suspect James was driven mad with despair. Discord probably did something that broke his heart…and that ultimately proved fatal for both of them… Just…don't ask Twilight if she's not in the mood to discuss it, all right? She was in tears when I last saw her."

Cadence nodded while she took in my words. "I won't. Just… I'll be down shortly. I just need to wash up."

I'm jotting all this down before Cadence can finish getting ready upstairs. My mind is just swimming with shock. All I heard and saw… Feels like we've got some dark days ahead of us. Why… How did this happen? What did Discord do to you, James? You were like the little brother I never had. I wish I could've been there for you. Fighting alongside you while making certain you lived to see tomorrow. Maybe I could've saved you. Maybe not… I'll never know now.

Well, sounds like Cadence is finishing up right now. I'm actually a little scared of what I might learn if Twilight does decide to discuss what happened. I'm sure she knows everything. All I can do right now is support her all I can. It's going to be a long time before she recovers from this. I just hope she'll be fine. If Twilight was the same solitary mare I knew before she left for Ponyville, she would probably be able to brush this loss off. But now… I need to find out when and where the funeral is going to be held. I need to make sure I attend to be there for Twilight.

Time to put down the quill. My wife and sister are waiting.

* * *

What a wretched dream… It was all just a dream, was it not? I awoke beneath the covers of the plush bed I had been provided. But why was I within the palace? In Canterlot? No… It had to have been a dream. That mad laughter. And all that crimson fluid. It… No, I refused to accept it. I would have to confirm it before I could accept it as fact.

The halls were quiet. Maybe a guard or two here or there. But there was no sign of my dear friends. And certainly no sign of… In the dream… We went to the hospital. I cannot even recall who I passed along the way. Was I still partially asleep? But I did find it. Almost as if I was retracing footsteps I never made. Or had I made them?

I found myself standing in the lobby. It was a quiet yet gloomy day. I approached the receptionist's desk. She looked up at me right away. "Hello. Can I help you?"

I prayed in my heart that I was mistaken. That nopony I knew had been admitted yesterday. And so… I brought myself to ask the fateful question. "Excuse me… I cannot seem to remember. Yesterday… Was a human man admitted to the ER?"

"A human? I must not have been on duty at the time. Let me check…" She began to flip through a stack of papers held to a clipboard concealed by part of the desk. "Human… Human… Ah, here it is. James, was it?"

"Yes! Is he… What room can I find him in?" So we did bring him to the hospital. Please… I was pleading deep within my soul for him to still live.

Once more, she turned her gaze back to the list of names that I could not see. "Room? Um… Oh, I'm sorry… I'm afraid his body has been moved to the morgue. Cause of death seems to be unclear… Main cause seems to be fatal blood loss, but it seems many other types of injuries may have contributed. The list includes…"

Her words did not reach me. My mind reeled. It was not a dream at all… It was a nightmare made real. I staggered out of the lobby and back into the streets. Everything was a blur. The tears… They clouded my vision. I know not where my hooves led me. It did not matter to me. My love… My prince… He was no more… And my hooves were stained with his blood. I loved him… Loved him far more than a friend should…and I threw him away to his death.

I thought I heard a voice call out to me. So familiar and distant… I paid it no heed, though soon I felt something upon my shoulder. My vision cleared just slightly with a single blink of my eyes to flush my tears away before more could cloud my vision once again. A dear friend of Canterlot. Fancy Pants. He greeted me with his kindly smile, though it immediately turned into a frown of concern. "Ah, now I have your atten… Why, Miss Rarity. Whatever seems to be the trouble? Such beauty should not be marred by tears."

It was a struggle to speak. My throat constantly closed, forcing me to choke out quiet sobs between words. "I awoke… And I prayed that it was all a dream… A wretched nightmare I thought I would awaken from. But…I just visited the hospital to confirm my fears… And it was no dream… He's gone, Fancy Pants… James is no more…and the blame falls to me…"

His reply was as I expected. A wide-eyed stare without saying a word as his monocle fell from his face. But while I bowed my head to allow the tears to fall, I heard a voice speak that I loathed hearing. A certain 'prince' of Canterlot. "Truly? You mean to say that ruffian has met with an untimely end?"

I felt such a burning wrath filling me, all but drowning my sorrow. I could scarcely make him out through the tears, but he stood nearby in the street. "I suppose it should not be surprising. It was bound to happen for someone who resided in such an unsanitary slum. But that's what happens in the long run when one does not understand their place and struggles against the natural order."

How dare he… To use me like a lowly servant was one thing, but this… Mocking the man who properly punished him a mere day after his demise? My blood has never boiled hotter than it did at that moment. "You would dare… Dare speak ill of him after all he has done for his friends… For me?!"

At the edge of my vision, I snatched up the nearest tool I could with levitation. A spear held by a guard on patrol. What became of the guard, I did not see. My blurred vision was focused exclusively on the wretched oaf before me as I marched towards him, spearhead aligned with his face. From what I remember, he turned as white as cotton and began to back away in a panic. "Whoa! You… What're you doing?! Stand down! Guards! Uh… Guards, do something! Seize her!"

I shouted… I roared at him. Tears blinding me, but my hooves carrying me on while my spear never turned away. "How dare you… How dare you mock the man who ended Discord's tyranny! You know not the suffering he endured during his final minutes! The betrayal he suffered! The madness that drove him over the brink!"

Seconds later, I had him pinned to the nearest wall in panic. The spear's tip was aimed directly at his throat. Around me, I could feel and hear a crowd gathering. A few more spears were pointed right at me. But my wrath and sorrow drove me on. "You knew nothing of his love and gentleness! All the lives he had touched! I could run this through you right now and nopony in the world would mourn for you! Not a tear would be shed! And to the end, you would view yourself as being more than a man who held those most dear to his heart as he breathed his last breath! You are NOT his superior! You are not even his equal! He is… He…was…"

It was all I could endure. My wrath burned away until only the sorrow remained. I collapsed to my knees, the spear falling from my magical grasp. Why… Oh, James, why did it have to come to this?!

I heard a voice speak out as I heard the sounds of hooves against the stone street drawing near. "Excuse me, gentlemen. I'll take care of this." I felt somepony help me to my feet. I could not see. I felt so weak. I recognized the voice as that of Fancy Pants, though he spoke with a noticeably angry tone. "I think you have said quite enough, my lord. She is clearly in mourning. Either offer her your shoulder or hold your tongue."

I felt myself being guided through the streets. And eventually, I felt a warm moist rag dabbing my face and eyes. I was seated at a café I frequent during my business trips to Canterlot. And Fancy Pants was seated across from me as his horn was coated by that billowing layer of gold. "Easy now. I can see that you have been through quite a great deal."

Warm tea with plenty of lemon had been served to us, the tangy sweet scent reaching my nostrils. I drank eagerly, my tears having left me parched. My friend looked on in silence for a moment with a gaze of concern. "Are you going to be all right?"

Once my cup had been drunk dry, I let out a long sigh of relief. For the moment, my tears had ceased. "I don't know… But for the moment, I don't feel the urge to cry."

He silently lifted his own cup of tea to his lips and lightly sipped from the edges. He seemed to scan me, as if searching me for weakness to determine if it would be wise to speak. "You spoke with such rage and passion towards the prince. If you feel comfortable talking about it… Sir James. Were you being sincere when you…?"

I suppose it was time to be truthful. There was no point in hiding the truth. My heart heavy with grief, I spoke the truth I did not want to believe. "I was… James is… He fell in battle against the dreaded Discord just yesterday… Only…it was I who goaded him into… I made a sacred vow to not allow Discord to weave his wiles onto me again for his sake, and yet I… I betrayed him… I saw him lying dead before me…"

Fancy Pants did not speak. He merely stared while looking quite disgruntled. After a moment more of silence, he finally offered a retort. "I am sorry to say I cannot comprehend much of what you speak, but… You have my sincerest condolences, Miss Rarity. I only met the man twice, but he was certainly a fine fellow. If I recall correctly the tidbits of information I overheard from the princesses when we occasionally crossed paths… Truly, Equestria has lost a dear friend… You were close to him, were you not?"

I spoke nothing more than the truth. "If things had been different, I would have gladly been his bride. That man…held my heart. He could see beauty in any mare. He preferred the natural beauty within me over the false enhancements I always used… You see these lashes? If I had not met him, they would likely still be false…"

"It sounds as if he cherished you greatly, Miss Rarity. I'm certain the two of you would have been quite happy together. A shame it was not meant to be… I would have loved to attend your wedding." Fancy Pants said with a sympathetic smile. Bless his soul, that cordial stallion. "Although now… Is the funeral being planned at this time? It would be an honor to attend so I may give our friend a proper farewell."

"You are most certainly invited…" It will be good to see such a renowned face when the day comes. Even if not a smile will show.

He managed to show a warm smile at my words. "Thank you. But for the moment… Is there anything I can do for you? It would not do to leave a lovely lady like you in tears. If there is anything that I can do to assist, please ask."

Bless his soul, that Fancy Pants. Truly a marvel of Canterlot. "As much as it touches me that you would make such an offer, I… I'm sorry. I just wish to be left alone to my sorrow for now… Though I appreciate the tea. I truly do…"

He nodded in understanding, placing some bits upon the table. "I understand entirely. Then I shall leave you to your sorrow. I suppose I will be on my way then. And I will be certain to attend our friend's funeral. Take care, Miss Rarity."

I was alone again. The only company I had being the twisted images and sounds in my memory. I soon made my way back to the palace. But upon entering the main hall, a thought came to me. What had become of dear Fluttershy? I know my heart is fractured, but hers is likely in total shambles. I began to ask every guard I came across. And after the first three, one of them pointed me in the right direction.

I entered the garden much I would during the Grand Galloping Gala. So vibrant and filled with color and the soothing sound of songbirds tweeting within the treetops. For a time, I did not see her. I was too drained to even attempt to call out for her. But eventually, I found her. But… Oh, Fluttershy… If only there was something I could do…

She was resting before a tiny pond. Her head was angled down, directing her gaze at the surface. But… Her eyes. So empty. So…lifeless. And her body. She seldom even blinked. Butterflies fluttered around her. Many even perched upon her utterly still body. From a distance, one could assume she was being as still as possible to become one with nature she adores so much. But I could see it. Her soul was fractured. I was even beginning to wonder if she was looking at the fish that swam just under the surface. I truly do believe that…rather than them, she was gazing at her own reflection in deep self loathing.

I cannot continue writing. I was hoping doing this would allow my feelings to flow, but… The tears… They come again…

* * *

I cannot understand this… How… Where did we go wrong? I thought that allowing James to go with his friends to search for the Elements of Harmony would help insure their retrieval and the safety of the bearers. But now… Both he and Discord are dead… Rather than help ensure victory, we only assured defeat by sending him with them. Yet another blemish to add to my long list of failures…

"Sister… Celestia, did you hear me?" I heard my sister speak to me. Precious Luna gazed at me while I sulked upon the throne. I lifted my head to gaze at her. She was trying to maintain her stern composure, but I could see it in her eyes. Utter devastation. Oh, Luna, forgive me… I know you and he were close as friends. The first to ever openly praise you for creating such a beautiful night. And now he has been robbed from you forever.

"I… Forgive me, what did you say?" I asked quietly, my gaze directed towards my sister. My mind was adrift with so many emotions. I could scarcely focus.

Luna paused before she spoke. Perhaps she too could see my own bedlam in my eyes. "I sent word to the guards as you requested. Discord's remains will be gathered and cremated immediately. It should insure he will not return."

Discord… I felt my heart weep at knowing of his demise. I was a fool to expect otherwise. This day would have likely come at some point. He was beyond salvation. "Good… And the armor and weapons?"

"The Celestial Sword and Lunar Shield are being washed of the blood and mud they accumulated alongside the Elements of Harmony. The armor is being retrieved from the hospital as we speak." She spoke briefly and bluntly, as if trying to mask her underlying feelings.

"Luna… There is nopony around. You are free to allow your true feelings to flow." I spoke softly to her, trying to coax her into releasing her emotional restraints. It would be best if she did not hold it in.

And release them she did. Mere seconds later, the tears flowed once more as she leaned against me while my wing tenderly draped itself over her. "This is not fair, Celestia… Why did it have to be this way…? Why did he have to leave us?"

"I wish I could answer that question, Luna. I truly do… But you knew Discord as well as I did, sister. You saw his descent into madness to escape the agony in his own heart. Seeing others in the same pain he was in must have likely…brought him some level of catharsis. He was mad, Luna. Mad with centuries of grief…" The memories that came flooding back to me as I spoke… Memories of centuries past. I thought for certain I could find a way to remedy his suffering. I was a fool to think I could undo centuries of madness. And it took the death of a friend to make me realize that…

Our thoughts were interrupted as the door to the throne room opened. Walking towards us with a heavy wooden chest floating before him with levitation was Estoc, second-in-command to the royal guard. "I hope I am not intruding, your highnesses. The armor your requested is inside. However, I am sorry to say I did not find a helmet with it. The hospital staff claims that it was not present with the set."

The helmet was gone… And the Element of Humanity with it. When the bearer dies, the Element and its vessel that are bound to him or her fade as well. I knew then for certain that our friend was truly no more. "I see… Thank you, Estoc. You are dismissed."

Once we were alone again, Luna and I approached the chest resting in the middle of the chamber. I could only imagine the armor's condition. Together, we opened the lid. And… By my mother's great sun. The left greave and loin guard was stained a dark red, as was the left gauntlet. Specks of dark red were splattered here and there. The agony James must have endured… And the hell he must have forced Discord through. Some of that blood was undoubtedly not from James. And the right gauntlet… Mangled and twisted from intense heat. Filled with pain yet he likely still fought on. What sort of nihilistic madness had taken root in his mind during his final minutes? If only we had been there… If only we had not been blind to what was happening out there. What had prevented us from witnessing it? Why did the courtyard seem completely fine the entire time? Why did we not hear any of the chaos that was occurring? Was it your doing, Discord?

"So much blood… To think that he died in this armor…" Luna whispered, her voice once more beginning to break. To see the bloodstained attire her friend had been clad in… I too was on the verge of tears as images of what could have transpired out there flashed through my mind.

"It is for the best we do not know. But we cannot return the armor to its resting place while it remains in this condition. It must be cleaned first." I replied while staying near my sister. Almost as if to answer my claim, the doors once again swung open. One of the castle's maids stepped in with a familiar jeweled box floating beside her, grasped in her levitation spell.

She promptly bowed before us before speaking softly in respect of the situation. "The Elements of Harmony have been cleansed and are within their container, your highness. Can I be of any further assistance?"

I did my best to show a faint smile as I used my magic to take hold of the box. "Yes, you may take this container and wash its contents. Please return them to us once they are presentable."

"It will be done, my lady." She spoke with a bow before lifting the chest with her magic and departing. Once again, I was alone with my sister.

I looked at the box that contained the Elements of Harmony. A lift of the lid revealed that all six were indeed inside and cleansed of the blood of the fallen Spirit of Chaos. It was time to return them to their resting place. "I will be back, Luna. And please… I wish to do this alone."

"I understand. I will be here." She said with a nod. I am certain she could understand why I was requesting temporary solitude. I departed from the throne room and made my way through the palace towards the Hall of the Elements.

So many memories always come to me when I walk along that grand hall. So many reminders embedded within the windows that stand tall upon the walls. I felt so utterly alone as I approached the sealed chamber at the very end. With a single thrust of my horn and the cast of a familiar spell, the chamber's doors opened before I placed the box containing the Elements within. And with one more spell, it closed again, never again to be tampered with by Discord or anyone else.

Before I could leave, there was one more thing I had to do. The reason I had requested to be left alone. I turned my gaze to the window depicting myself and Luna surrounding the fallen Spirit of Chaos, his body a pale gray as he was encased in stone. I could feel tears building within my eyes. Tears of anguish, bitterness, anger, so many emotions that I could not even begin to count.

"Why, Discord… Why did it have to end like this?" I spoke loudly, not caring who may hear or see me. Centuries of questions, doubt, and hope spilling out all at once. "Why did you have to end it like this, you fool?! How could you even sink this low?! You tampered with reality, with the emotions of your people, with their minds, but… How could you dare tamper with the heart?!"

The tears flowed like rivers. I felt so hurt, yet so furious. Not just at Discord, but at myself as well. "All I ever wanted was to have the old you back. I wanted things to be the way they always were. With you watching over and guiding our people with Luna and myself by your side. I was a fool to think that there was any hope once that hole in your heart became too vast for the two of us to fill… I clung to the hope that perhaps there was a way to heal you… To restore your shattered heart. How blind I was… I could not accept losing the best friend I ever had… If only I had accepted that you were beyond saving, then perhaps…"

So much wrath. So much remorse. It had been eons since one's passing had harmed me so deeply. "Was this all intentional? Was this your last desperate attempt to free yourself? To be reunited with all that you lost? Well… If that was the case, then congratulations, huh? You're finally free now. Wherever it is you are now, I hope you're happy! Never again will you torment this world or its people!"

The anger was fading. All I could feel was sorrow. "You… Discord… Forgive me… This all could have been avoided if I just allowed you to die… I know there was still goodness in your heart, buried amongst the pain and madness… I should have set you free from the start… Luna was right… You were trapped. And now…you are free. Farewell…old friend… Please… If you can still hear me… Please tell all who are with you that…Celestia is sorry for keeping you away from them for so long. And please… Tell James, if you see him… Tell him that…he will be missed sorely…"

How many tears fell to the floor below before I stopped speaking… There was one last thing I had to do. So many words that had never been spoken. I proceeded further back down the hall and stood before the newest addition to the pantheon of depictions of grand events in Equestria's history. The window that depicted the night of my sister's salvation. Nightmare Moon soaring high above a winged human in dark blue armor.

I gathered my fortitude. There was much I had to say. "I should have said all this before. And I pray you can still hear me…" I took a long deep breath before turning my gaze to the visage of the fallen bearer of the Element of Humanity. "I have watched you since the very day you first set foot in Equestria. I saw how lost and uneasy you were. I watched as you quickly opened your heart to those who sought to welcome you. And I watched as you became close friends with my sister at our first meeting. For so long, I watched you from afar. And yet…after all that time…it feels as if I only just recently started to get to know you."

Once more, I could feel the tears building. My vision became blurred. But I could still see him. Soaring above me as the sun shone through his glass body. "You truly were… It felt as if I was seeing a glimmer of Equestria's greatest days through you. I have never met a man as genuinely tender… As considerate as you since before that era ended. I was often curious of how you gained so many friends despite being a human and not a fellow pony. And after nearly a full year, I took the opportunity to meet with you in person. And I began to see it. Your calm open mind. You thought so deeply. You felt more than most. It allowed you to reach out and be reached out to more easily. It was so easy to become close to you. Whenever I spoke, you always listened."

The memories of this past year. They came flooding back. "I still remember our first meeting. I could see how awkward it must have felt for you to be in the presence of royalty. Though over time, you began to do something so few have ever done. You began to see past my crown and see the mare that rests underneath. You saw each of us not as royalty, but each of us as a woman. You and my sister got along so well… I saw you smile and laugh together and she carried that smile wherever she went. And then you did the impossible. You reached out and touched a sister who was once my enemy, bringing her back to us as a friend. I do not think you know what you meant to Nightmare Moon… She is crushed without you… I pray she recovers someday…"

The tears then fell. I could feel my throat close as I gasped. My head throbbed in pain, my eyes sore. And yet, I continued to speak. "I was finally given the opportunity to be in your presence. And…it was indeed a splendid experience. I saw and felt your tenderness for myself. I wish I had done so sooner. I wish…I could have been your friend. I saw some of myself in you. I am certain…you and I would have been fast friends, if given enough time."

I could see it in my reflection. A tiny gold ring lined with amethysts resting at the base of my horn. A gift from my fallen friend. One I did not ever expect. A gift that has become one of my most precious belongings. "You were neither the night nor the day… You… You were the eclipse. The calm serene nature of the night with the warmth of the sun peeking just over it with the proper coaxing. You…were ideal for reintroducing humanity to this world. With you serving as its herald, this project would have surely been a success…"

"You don't know what you've left behind… So many will mourn your passing once word spreads. I wish I had more time to get to know you. To find out what my sisters saw in you. I swear, my friend… You will not be forgotten. Goodbye…my friend." I could not stay any longer. I had to go. His gear and armor needed to be laid to rest, possibly for the final time.

I returned to the throne room at a leisurely pace. Upon my arrival, I found Luna standing before the throne with a familiar shield with a sword's hilt and crossguard jutting up from behind it. And beside that rested a silver chalice with a lid resting upon it. I knew what was underneath. Luna took one look at me and asked, "Shall we?"

"Yes… Let's." It was all I could bring myself to say. Together, we lifted the throne before us to reveal the spiraling stairwell that led down into a vault nopony had ever known of. The resting place of this most sacred treasure meant for friends long since vanished.

The air was cool. The scent in the air musty. The only sound to pierce the silence being the flickering of flames on the torches that lined the walls, our own footsteps, and the billowing magical energies that surrounded our horns. And soon, at the very end of the hall, we entered the chamber once more. Luna lifted the lid upon the chalice and poured its liquid contents into the basin set into the altar before us. And I lifted the Lunar Shield to the wall, once again setting it in place. Perhaps to never be used again… The scene before us… It was exactly as it was when we first revealed it to him.

"All these preparations… All this time…wasted." I spoke softly, grieving the failure of the project. For centuries I had watched that world, waiting for the proper time. The human we chose by chance proved to be the right choice. And now we were back where we started.

Luna lifted her head, her eyes set upon me. "We must search the planet once more, sister… There are surely others out there who harbor the qualities needed for…"

"No, Luna… Not now." I spoke with a heavy heart. As important to me the restoration of humanity in our world is, it was too soon. "You saw them, Luna. They are devastated. Some of them even seemed…broken. If we bring another human to our world, they may view it as a means to replace him. It will reopen old wounds. It may take years, perhaps even decades, but we mustn't. Until they have completely recovered from this loss, this project is on indefinite hiatus."

Luna let out a long sigh, her gaze turning to the floor. "I understand entirely… I… I believe I would want to wait as well. I am not ready to move on. And our sister would likely be furious if she even remotely assumed such a thing as well."

Our sister… Nightmare Moon. I had to see her soon. I was worried of what had become of her since yesterday. She surely must have awakened by that point. "Luna… Let us depart. There is something I must do immediately."

We departed the vault, sealing the stone door to the chamber one final time. And once we had lowered the throne back in place, I made my way to where I needed to go. The tallest tower in the castle. I could not see it, but I could sense it. A powerful magic shell set over the entire spire to keep its occupant trapped within. It is normally used as a guest room, so it contains all the necessities of an extended stay. I dare not try to open the door, so I instead flew over to the balcony. Glass doors stood at the entrance to the chamber, allowing me to see within. The barrier allowed me to set down upon it, Luna having likely configured it to allow myself through. The room was dark. I lightly tapped on the glass, hoping to draw the attention of whoever was inside. "Nightmare Moon? Are you well? It's me, Celestia."

At first, I thought she was still slumbering as a result of Luna's spell to pacify her when she…received word of our friend's passing. But just as I was on the verge of departing, I saw it. Sudden movement inside followed by two glowing lights gazing at me from the other side of the door. I heard a voice filled with anger, muffled by the glass panes. "Release me, sister."

Nightmare Moon… I had never thought I would hear that tone projected at me once again. My heart was heavy. I could see it. She was filled with a type of wrath I had never seen in her before. Not even when she first manifested within my sister so long ago. "If I do… What will be your first course of action?"

Her response was prompt and cruel. "What else? I will hunt down the traitors who murdered him and send them to him so that they may beg him for forgiveness."

Such malice in those words… It felt…unnatural to hear it from her. She had always been darker than Luna or myself… Possibly a result of whatever foul magic that resulted in her creation. But this? "I cannot, sister… They are suffering just as much as you are right now, if not more. I will not allow you to harm them."

I jumped back. She roared upon trying to blast her way through the door with lightning magic, but the barrier held. "They know not what they've done! I witnessed it, Celestia! I saw them make that sacred vow! The vow to keep him safe from Discord's wiles! They vowed, and they failed! I placed my faith in them, and they betrayed us all!"

It hurt… I love my sister, I truly do. I wanted to enter the chamber and comfort her, but I dare not bypass that second layer of the barrier while she was consumed with such wrath. "I know… And I assure you that they are just as devastated… You must understand, Nightmare Moon. It was Discord's doing, not theirs. You know how he was before he was first sealed. He was mad with despair. And this… This was the final result of that madness."

"They had bested him before, sister. They knew what to expect! They could have triumphed! But now… You've seen what they have wrought! This, I cannot ever forgive…" She sounded furious, yet also on the verge of tears. As if there was another emotion she was trying to keep contained behind the wrath.

"I know, sister… I know… I know he was your friend. He was mine too, even if he possibly did not know it… I understand that you were close to him…" I did all I could to try to calm her. But as I spoke, she practically rammed her face into the glass, bringing us closer together. I could see them. Glowing streams of tears that poured down her cheeks.

"Friend…? Friend…?! You know not what he was to me, sister!" I could not back away. She was mere inches away from me. "Allow me to enlighten you. If I had my way, you would be referring to that man as King James by now. And I as Queen Nightmare Moon. And by this point, you and our sister would likely be expecting the first true addition to the royal family since the day Luna was born. That is what that man meant to me. And I will never… NEVER forgive them for what they have stolen from me!"

I could scarcely breathe. Such powerful words. James… He… He had never been a mere friend to her. She… She had loved him. Craved him. Sister… He was her beloved. And… To think I had been blind to such feelings. I should have seen it in their chemistry. In hindsight… It almost feels as if they were meant for one another. But now… Nightmare Moon… How I wish there was something I could do to mend your shattered heart…

"I… I see… Then…" I could not even speak. My mind was swimming with newfound guilt.

Finally seeing that she would not be granted the freedom she craved, my sister turned away from me. "Just…leave me be… Leave me to my sorrow…" She vanished into the shadows, the door before me completely silencing anything else that may be coming from within the room. I then departed with a heart as heavy as lead. What have we done…

I gathered the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony into the main hall. All six stood before Luna and myself, though Fluttershy took longer than expected to arrive. She never once spoke, almost as if blindly following her hooves. But regardless, it was time to say goodbye. We could not keep them from their lives back in Ponyville forever. "Everypony is here now?"

"We are, your highness…" Twilight Sparkle mumbled quietly as she stood ahead of her friends. I had never before seen such absolute misery in her eyes before. And for the first time ever since taking her under my wing, there was nothing I could do or say to comfort her.

I did all I could to console my subjects, even if it was futile. "Once again…I am deeply sorry for what has occurred. Neither of us could have foreseen this disaster. Although it does not make it easier to bear… Please, return home and rest. Mourn for as long as you must." I then turned to my sister. "Luna. Have you and Pinkie Pie gathered the names of who to send invitations to?"

She nodded with a profound frown spread across her lips. "We have. It was…a surprisingly long list." Pinkie Pie, her mane and tail still strangely straight and long, nodded in silence. Truly a bizarre mare.

"Hey… Uh… How long until the funeral though?" Rainbow Dash asked weakly, her eyes still swollen from countless tears shed.

"One week, Rainbow Dash. We must give the guests time to plan their visit. It will be held in Ponyville, as he would have desired… His body will be preserved for the day. Also… Rarity?" I explained before turning my gaze to the bearer of the Element of Generosity.

She lifted her head to look directly at me. "Yes, your highness?"

I glanced at Luna, who returned my gaze before speaking towards her. "We have a request. Could you please weave for our fallen friend fitting attire to wear during his…final farewell?"

Her beautiful azure eyes opened wide. She surely was not expecting such a favor. However, she then weakly smiled as a few more tears fell. "I… I was already weaving something special for him to wear to the…next Grand Galloping Gala… I will finish it at once and personally deliver it to you… Consider it done."

"Thank you… Now… Do take care on your way home. We will all see you again very soon." I said while bowing my head towards them. They all solemnly bowed before departing out through the gate, leaving my sister and I alone.

Night came. I lowered the sun while my sister lifted the moon. But I could not sleep. Not with the death of a friend weighing on my conscience. Fireflies flitted to and fro in the royal garden. Crickets chirped, breaking the deathly silence of the night. I turned my gaze skyward once I felt I was truly alone, my eyes directed to my father's beautiful moon. Mother… Father…

"I am a failure, Mother… Father… I was never destined for the throne like you two. Era after era, failure after failure… I failed to save Discord, I failed to reach our human friends, I failed to defend Canterlot from a Changeling invasion, and now I failed to defend the life of the herald of humanity's return… I'm not like you, Mother! I do not deserve this crown!" My voice carried into the sky, knowing that it fell on deaf ears. I hung my head as tears of grief and frustration fell. I soon heard the sound of footsteps in the grass not far behind me. Likely one of the night watch making their rounds. "Leave me be… That is an order."

However, the voice I heard next was not what I expected. It was feminine… Bold… And familiar. "It takes commendable courage to give orders to a true sovereign, child."

There was another voice. Masculine…gentle… And just as familiar. "Please face us, Celestia. It has been far too long."

I lifted my head in an instant and turned to face the two guests. I could hardly believe what I was seeing… Well over a millennium since our last meeting and yet… They stood before me. With mane and tail of flickering flames, my mother. Queen Sunflare. And beside her, coat of ebony and mane and tail of gorgeous flowing shimmering silver, my father. King Orbash. "Mother… Father… It… It's been too long…"

Like a child desperately seeking comfort, I sailed into their embrace. I felt their great wings draped over me as they rested their heads against me. My mother whispered tenderly to me. "There, there… I know you are suffering, my child…"

Father, his voice filled with the familiar tenderness I had always known, spoke to me as well. "We witnessed it all, Celestia. And we felt our presence is needed for this moment."

I once again felt the frustration fill me once more. The disappointment. "Then you know… I am a failure, Mother. I truly tried once you left the throne in my hooves alongside Luna… But time after time, I have failed Equestria and those dear to me… And now…my incompetence has resulted in the loss of the life of a hero of Equestria! The bearer of Humanity is no more and I could have prevented it!"

Father spoke quietly after a moment of tense silence. "Is that why you are preparing to manipulate your star pupil to eventually inherit the crown from you?"

They knew? What does escape the watchful eyes of my parents? They slowly released me from their grasp and gazed at me. Mother's gaze was soft, yet stern. She had always been stalwart and stubborn. Father's was more reserved, showing his kind loving heart as it always has. Mother spoke first. "Celestia, please listen to us. I will say now that I was never in support of your choice to try to reintroduce humanity to this world. That is a bygone era and our people have become accustomed to life without them. But after witnessing what that man was and how he merged with our world's way of life with little difficulty, I will say that perhaps you were going about it the right way. I feel you made the right choice. You failed no one."

I was eager to defy her claim. Never before have I felt such anger at myself. But I remained silent. When my mother and father reveal themselves to myself or anyone else, it is an event that I must not defy. They had come to me for a reason. Father then spoke with a faint smile, tempted to show me his full soothing smile, but clearly restraining himself knowing that the situation did not warrant one. "When you were forced to seal Discord away, we had the utmost faith in you and your sister. And you two have flawlessly reigned over this world, guiding our people. Even with the unexpected emergence of Nightmare Moon, you endured and guided Equestria alone until the return of your sister. Celestia, you are indeed a worthy ruler and I doubt anyone could match the two of you as the rulers of this beautiful world."

"Then answer this, Father… Why have I failed time and again? I failed to save Discord from his sorrow. I failed to turn our former friends away from their misguided treachery. I failed to see the anguish and longing that was taking hold of Luna. I even failed to see such obvious warning signs when the Changelings invaded Canterlot. And now… My friend is dead because of me! How can I be worthy to reign when there is blood on my hooves?!" I felt my frustration and self-loathing spill over once more. I wanted to believe them, but my doubt was weighing down on my soul.

Mother sighed and shook her head. She then tenderly rested her hoof upon my shoulder, shoes of flames flickering over her ankles. "Yes, you have failed and made mistakes from time to time. But that is a part of life, is it not? And yet, despite your shortcomings, Equestria continues to thrive."

My father then spoke while he began to circle me. "Some of your 'failures' were unavoidable, Celestia. Discord made the mistake of opening his heart too wide to his people during his reign. His immortality became a curse, and this world his prison. And you know that our former friends turned on us due to the seeds of disharmony he sowed into the mind of their final emperor during his final years of madness. It was beyond our control."

The tears began to slow. I truly wanted to believe that I was not at fault for the many mistakes I had made, even if my heart said otherwise. Once more, mother spoke to me. "Celestia, it is true that you may have made mistakes during your reign. But even you are not perfect. It is likely that more mistakes and failures lie in your future alongside Luna's. But you must understand, my child. When you are as beloved and just a ruler as you are, your people will stand by you in your darkest hours. As you have guided and supported them, they in turn will support you."

Such wisdom in those words… And I had been blind to such thoughts for so long. Father then smiled at me more wholeheartedly than before. "You are indeed worthy of the throne, Celestia. Your mother and I would not have entrusted this world to you if you were not. So please. Continue to watch over Equestria as you always have with Luna by your side. You two are this world's sovereign rulers and you always will be."

No words came. There was nothing I could say. But the more I listened, the more I knew that they were right. I have always been hard on myself whenever a failure or mistake was on my hooves. But they are right. The people have never spoken ill of me. And to this day, they look to Luna and me for guidance. My heart was still heavy, but I felt a great weight being lifted from my shoulders. Mother and Father… They have always been there when I have needed them most.

Before I could even offer a retort or a word of thanks, I heard a voice speak up from somewhere behind me. "Your highness? Forgive me, but is this a bad time?"

I immediately turned to face the visitor and found Estoc standing before me. In his magical grasp seemed to be a weatherproof folder. "I apologize if I am disturbing you this evening. I made one last sweep around the labyrinth's exterior and found this just inside the entrance. From what I see, it appears to be some sort of journal."

For whatever reason, he seemed surprisingly unimpressed or startled by the presence of my parents. At least until I glanced over my shoulder. Mother and Father were gone. No trace of them remained. Trying to keep face, I turned to face Estoc and took the folder into my grasp before looking through it. I recognized the handwriting in mere seconds. It was James'. When I glanced at the last page, I quickly understood what it was. This was his final journal entry. "Thank you, Estoc. I will deal with this personally. You are dismissed."

With a bow, he was gone. Once I was certain I was alone, I carefully scanned my surroundings. After a moment, I saw them. A pair of equine forms in the distance between the trees and bushes. Wings were spread before they ascended upward and were gone. I could not help but smile solemnly. I could only hope I would see them again someday soon. Although it would likely be centuries before that day came again.

And now I must rest. This journal must be sent to Twilight first thing in the morning. His final recorded thoughts would be best in the possession of his dearest friends. And then… The painful task of sending word to those whose lives he touched. I dread to see the next week from now…


	3. Chapter 2

This sucks… I haven't felt this out of things since the last time I got a hangover from binging on apple cider. I got dragged out of bed to say goodbye to the princesses, and not even twenty minutes later, I'm on the next train outta Canterlot.

Things were really quiet. You'd think somepony would at least try to start up a conversation to help pass the time. It's at least an hour to get from Canterlot to Ponyville by train, after all. But nopony did. None of us said a thing.

I'd normally be a chatterbox during boring times like that. But… How could I even talk? I don't even really know what to write. All of these emotions are new to me… I can't believe he's gone… Just… Now those stupid tears are building up in my eyes again. Please, I want to stop crying… My eyes and head hurt enough already.

I never knew what it's like to fall in love until I met him. It felt so good… It wasn't until I got to spend some quality time with him in the sky that I started to see the inner him. The way he watched my back and I watched his in the Everfree Forest that night… I learned something important from him that day. But now that he's gone… James, why didn't I stick with you when I found you? I can't believe everything you did. Is that how much we meant to you? You became a total monster… But was that all according to Discord's plan? Was he planning to turn you into that just to see what would happen?

He was still himself when I found him… The instant I got my wings back, I went looking for him. I… I felt him die in my arms… Why couldn't I do anything?! I'm the one who's connected to the Element of Loyalty, darn it! Why couldn't I save the most important man in the world to me?! I pleaded and screamed for him to stay with me…and he still left us… Maybe we deserve this… We promised… Pinkie Promised, even… And we still ended up failing him.

All I could do was look out the window the entire time. The rain started to pick up along the way. I couldn't see anything past the water pouring down the window. All I could see was my reflection. My eyes were bloodshot. I didn't sleep well that night. In that reflection…I could almost see him looking back at me as he lay there…dying…

I squinted my eyes shut and bumped my forehead against the window. It hurt so much… I'd rather have both my wings broken and me wrapped up in a full body cast than feel this pain! Maybe… Maybe if he… On Hearts and Hooves Day… Maybe if he left Fluttershy for me, he'd still be… No, that's really sick, Rainbow. You shouldn't think like that… But still, it was Fluttershy who… In the end…

The train pulled into town and we all got out. There was hardly anypony else on the train besides the six of us. We instantly got soaked, but it's not like any of us cared. Even Rarity wasn't throwing much of a fit when her mane and tail got soaked. We all turned to Twilight. She's usually the brains when something bad happens.

She looked at all of us and spoke with a really worn out tone of voice. "Well… Let's all go home… We need to rest and… I need some time alone to really think about all this…"

"I think we all do… I'll… I'll see you girls tomorrow, right?" Pinkie Pie asked, her mane and coat still being that weird darker shade of pink that I've only seen once before.

"Of course, darling… We're still friends, after all…" Rarity then muttered while trying to crack a smile. It didn't show though.

We all started to make our way home. And for once, I just couldn't bring myself to fly. And Fluttershy… She didn't say anything. She just shambled away without even blinking. But before I got far, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I looked to the right and saw Applejack looking at me. Her hat was keeping her dry and she had a big white bandage over her bruised eye while dabbed in ointment to help with the swelling. "Hey… Wanna come over ta my place until the rain clears up?"

I'm guessing more of Discord's cotton candy clouds moved in while we were gone and turned into normal rain clouds once he was…dead… "Sure… Lead on…"

Hardly anypony was out in the rain. We eventually ducked under a shop's awning to get out of the rain for a little bit. But Applejack then reached under her hat and pulled out a slip of paper. "Thought ya'd wanna see this. It's… It's one of the invitations for…you know."

I guess Princess Luna must've passed one of the first ones that were printed. I took a look and… Oh man, the tears started building up again. It was an entirely black card, but with James' cutie mark taking up most of the top half while the rest was written in white text. "In loving memory… James of Ponyville… You are invited to our friend's final farewell to pay tribute to a friend of Equestria…"

There was some more, like when it would be happening, but I couldn't keep reading. I handed it back to Applejack and almost lost my balance. Good thing she was there to keep me up. She's always been an awesome friend. "Ya loved the guy, didn't you?"

"You know it… Never thought it'd happen…but it did…" I couldn't lie about it. I mean I'd deny it if it kept my reputation going with everypony else in town, but I could share it with a close friend.

Once I finally started to catch myself, Applejack brought up a question I had been trying to not think about. "What're we gonna tell the youngin's…? They're probably at my place right now."

The kids… James was part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And Scoot… He adopted her as… "We'll have to tell them… I can't do it alone though…"

"I'll do it with ya, Rainbow. I just hope they don't take it too hard…but who am I kiddin'?" Applejack said while trying to crack a smile. Sure enough, she couldn't do it. Nothing to smile about right there.

The rest of the walk isn't worth mentioning. Just some of the most miserable weather I've seen in months. And right as we stepped into Applejack's place, there they were. And I have to admit, I got a bit of a laugh outta it. The three girls had Granny Smith laced up with some ropes tied to her arms that looked like they were looped around the rafters in the ceiling that led into the kitchen and upstairs. I think she was taking a nap and was wearing a pair of glasses with fake eyes placed behind the lenses. Apple Bloom looked like she was having tea with her. "So, uh… Granny Smith? About back when the Apple family first moved in around here? Who was the first pony ta move in after y'all?"

For some reason, Granny Smith's mouth moved while a voice up the stairs spoke up in reply. But it was just Sweetie Belle talking with a phony accent. "The first? Well…uh… That was…" She then stuck her head down the stairs and called out through the posts. "Hey, Scoot! Do you remember who Granny Smith said was her first customer for that zap apple jam?"

Scootaloo then called out from somewhere in the kitchen. "Why're you asking me?! I'm not her granddaughter! But I think… Wasn't it some guy called Stinking Rich?"

"Who gets stuck with a name like Stinking Rich?! Oh well… Ahem… Oh, that was Stinkin' Rich! He bought half of our entire stock of zap apple jam that year! And that's how Ponyville started!" Well, Applejack and I just couldn't keep ourselves from laughing. Man, I really needed that too. What the hay were those girls doing to her?!

Our laughter got their attention right away. Apple Bloom looked our way and grinned really brightly. "Huh? Oh, hey sis! Howdy, Rainbow Dash! Where were ya?!"

Sure enough, the other two started coming into the room. But they forgot to let go of the ropes and ending up dragging Granny Smith's head into the ceiling before they almost got yanked off their hooves. That woke her up right away with the old mare hanging from the ceiling by her arms. "Huh?! Whazat?! Where am I?! Who left the stove on?!"

"Oops! Sorry, Granny Smith!" Scootaloo spoke up before she and Sweetie Belle backed up to lower her back down into her rocking chair.

"Well, hey there, youngin's. All cooped up in here? It's rainin' cats and dogs out there!" Granny Smith said while rocking a bit in her chair. But then she took a good look at us. "Well, you fillies look like ya got soaked to the bone out there! I'll go whip up a fresh batch of hot cider in a jiffy."

Once Granny Smith was out of the room, the kids then turned their attention to us. Apple Bloom was the first to speak up. "Where were ya, Applejack? Spike came by yesterday and said that ya had somethin' important goin' on up in Canterlot. Is somethin'… Wait! What's wrong with yer eye?!"

Didn't take long for them to notice that cotton patch over it, huh? Applejack tried to crack a reassuring smile to keep them from getting too worried while she lifted it out of the way. "Oh, this? I just got walloped pretty good. Just a good ol' black eye."

Yeah, the girls reacted to that about as well as I expected. They all cringed and backed away together. "Ewwwwww!"

Applejack quickly put the patch back over her eye while grinning nervously. "Well, now ya know why I'm wearin' this patch. It ain't pretty. It'll be fine though. Just give it a while and it'll be back ta normal."

Sweetie Belle then came closer. "Well, if you're here, does that mean Rarity's home too?"

"Yep… I reckon she's home by now, sugarcube. We all came home on the same train. But now, would ya mind tellin' me what y'all were doin' with Granny Smith just now?" Applejack looked like she was trying to avoid the problem for as long as she could. I was too… But with Scootaloo there, it wouldn't take long for it to be brought up.

Apple Bloom suddenly looked back at her flank while the other girls did the same. But there was still no cutie mark. "Hmm… Well, look's like we ain't gettin' our cutie marks by bein' ventriloquists."

Scootaloo then took a couple of steps forward. "That's OK. We'll just ask James for some suggestions at our next meeting. Hey, that's right! He came home with you guys, right?"

I felt my gut twist itself into a knot when I heard those words. The kids weren't going to take this well at all. As much as I wanted to tell them… Well, OK, I didn't wanna tell them at all. But still… I looked at Applejack. She always has a knack for being honest. She nodded at me before looking at the kids. "Yeah… About him… Girls, I've got some terrible news…"

Sweetie Belle came a bit closer while still showing that cute little smile of hers. "It can't be that bad. I heard from Scootaloo that all of you got called up to Canterlot by the princesses. And since you came home, everything must be OK!"

"All of us except him, that is…" I managed to say while being totally unable to even look at them. "Girls… This… This isn't easy for me to say. But he… James…died yesterday."

Well, they took it better than I expected at first. They just looked at us with confused stares. Finally, it was Scootaloo who answered. But she looked pretty annoyed. "Wow, Rainbow Dash. That's the unfunniest joke you've ever said. Come on, where is he? Is he home yet? Can I go see him now?"

Yeah. Denial. No surprise there. I looked at Applejack again. "Show them, AJ."

She reached under her hat and dropped the little slip of paper in front of them. They all took a closer look at it before Scootaloo picked it up. "In loving memory…?"

I could almost feel the tears coming back to me. I really didn't want to cry in front of the kids, but I couldn't help it. "He died in my arms… There was nothing I could do…"

I really wasn't expecting what happened next. Scootaloo grabbed the thing by her teeth and tore it to shreds. "This isn't funny! You're really pushing it now, Rainbow Dash!"

All three of them looked up at us with really angry glares. Sweetie Belle then spoke up. "He's not really dead! He's one of us! He'll come home soon, right?"

Applejack sighed and shook her head. "Girls… You know I'd never lie ta you 'bout somethin' like this. I wish it wasn't real either, but…"

Apple Bloom didn't give her the chance to finish. She got right up in her face. Or at least she would if she was as tall as Applejack. "Well, yer lyin' to our faces now! It's not true! And you know it!"

Applejack started to get pretty defiant by that point. You know, sisterly quarreling and the like. With tears starting to stream down her face, she started to raise her voice. "Hey, I'm just tellin' it like it is! Don't go thinkin' I'm not bothered by this, all right? I was there, Apple Bloom. I saw him lyin' out in…"

Scootaloo was the one who ended the whole thing right there. She pretty much just screamed at us right before running up the stairs. "Shut up! It's not true! It's not true!"

One by one, the other girls followed her right up the stairs until they were gone. And right after that, I heard a door slam. Probably all rounded up in Apple Bloom's room. I looked at Applejack while she looked at me. She was crying. I did what I could and draped my wing over her to pull her close. "I just don't get it, Rainbow… Why'd this have ta happen…?"

"I wish I knew, AJ…" I really didn't have an answer. I could feel the tears coming too. I still remember the moment when his grip on my hoof went limp. It still hurts… Oh god, it hurts… I loved that man…and he died right in front of me.

We looked towards the kitchen when we heard the sound of rusty and cracking joints. Granny Smith was standing in the doorway with two big warm glasses of hot apple cider topped with whipped cream set on a tray on her back. "I heard everythin', youngin's. There's been a death in the family, eh?"

"Extended family, Granny. James, he…" Applejack tried to talk, but she had to catch herself when she was about to have a breakdown.

"I know… Don't get yerself all worked up, youngin'. Just sit down for a spell and relax." She nudged a couple of stools over to her rocking chair for us to sit on. Once we were sitting down, she handed us those glasses of cider before she took a seat in her rocking chair. "It just ain't the right order of things… He was a real quiet fella unless ya spoke up. Then he could get pretty chatty."

James never really interacted with Granny Smith all that often. But whenever he stopped by Sweet Apple Acres for a little volunteering for some extra bits and she wasn't taking a nap, they got along really well. He always thought she's a really funny and cool grandma. It just… I can't believe how much I hate thinking of someone important to me in the past tense…

Not much later, I was just walking through town. Still raining like somepony forgot to turn the clouds off. I'll have to take care of that tomorrow. I didn't even have the urge to fly. I couldn't… I felt so…heavy. But while I was walking, I swung by a place I never really stopped by. The local bar.

I just stared at it for a minute. It's pretty weird. When you're depressed, you get a really weird urge to drink even when it tastes bad. And that urge was calling louder than ever before. So I went inside and pulled up a stool to the counter. The place didn't have many ponies in it, so I just set my head down on the counter until the bartender noticed me.

"Hey there, Rainbow Dash. What brings you by here?" I heard a voice speak up ahead of me. Berry Punch was standing behind the counter. She's a wiz at coming up with all sorts of fruit beverages, including some stronger stuff. She's also the bartender.

"No questions, OK? Just set me up with something strong." I really wasn't in the mood to talk. Just in the mood to try to drown my sorrows.

She tried to give me a little compassionate smile while she started rooting around the bottles on display behind the counter. "Sure thing. You OK though? Did the Wonderbolts turn you down?"

I know she was just trying to help and lend an ear. Lots of bartenders do that. "No… It's just… I really don't wanna talk about it."

Once she finished whipping something up that used a bunch of different booze with lots of different colors, she set the glass down in front of me. "Here you go. Pretty strong stuff here… What're you writing?"

I guess she noticed this journal. Well, I decided to be honest. "It's to help me cope… Just don't go anywhere, all right? I think I'm gonna be here for a while…"

I'm setting the quill down for now. I wanna get this stuff in me before I start crying again. At least if I'm a bit intoxicated, I can blame it on the booze and nopony can say I'm going soft.

Oh wow, everything's spinningggg. Heheh, the clouds in my house are all moving. Are they talking to mee? Man, that stuff really loosened up my head. What time is it?

Whatever. I'm in bed now. I don't wanna write anymoooree. I'll just cry myself to sleep now. Yeah, I can feel the tears coming on really fast now. Wish you were still here, big guy. You could've had me instead, but you chose the wuss. Your loss…

* * *

When was the last time I did not mind getting myself soaked in the rain? Was I truly feeling that detached? My heart was still weeping. The shock had passed, but the grieving had not. I am not even certain if the grieving in my heart will ever truly end.

I stood outside the door to my home. And for once, I was dreading stepping inside. Mitta was likely there. And she… What was I going to tell her? That her savior has fallen and that I had a hoof in his demise? I gently lifted the sign from my door's handle and pushed it open. The sound of a bell chimed above my head. My workroom was just as I left it yesterday. A few mannequins and unfinished dresses here and there, though the room was mostly open and bare. And sure enough, somepony entered the room from the far end. "Good afternoon. I'm sorry, but we're currently closed until… Oh, Rarity!"

Sure enough, it was Mitta. My dear gray and crimson assistant. She trotted over to me with a welcoming smile, but it quickly turned into a gaze of concern. "Are you all right? Why are you soaked like this?"

I sighed while looking myself over. My beautiful mane and tail were completely weighed down by the rain, which was pooling in a puddle around my hooves. "Well, I certainly was not expecting such a downpour. If I had known it would've been like this, I would have brought a parasol. But how have you been holding up? I trust everything is well? Has little Opal been good for you?"

Mitta looked around at our surroundings, my work environment being completely unchanged from when I left the house to meet my friends at the train station the previous day. "I watched the place like you asked. I didn't touch anything in here and did a little inventory check while you were gone. And Opal's been fine. Still doesn't like me that much, but that's OK. But…are you sure you're all right? You don't…look so good."

There was no hiding the truth by then. But…I had to think of how I was going to break the news to her. Mitta and James were always close. It was he who rescued her from the cursed confines of… What was the name of that town in the Everfree Forest he mentioned? It has been quite a while. Sunny Town? That sounds about right. Mitta has always looked to him for support. I have done all I can to help ease her into life in Ponyville, but he has truly been her pillar of support.

I began to walk slowly towards the stairwell next to the hall, my soaked hair leaving a trail of water in my wake. "No, Mitta… I am not all right. I have never been less all right in my entire life… The worst possible thing has come to pass…"

I did not get much further. I felt my body give out from me once again. My vision became blurred with tears. But Mitta was quick to rush to my side. "Hold on. Let me get you upstairs. A warm shower should help."

That sweetheart carried me right upstairs and into my own bathroom. And by Celestia's crown, did that shower feel good. The chill from the rain was gone. But the tears… They did not stop. Even under the torrent of warm water, I could feel the tears flowing free and merging with it. I did not even bother completely washing myself. I just needed the heat to perk me up. "Towel, please…"

Mitta held a towel just outside the shower door, allowing me to grasp it in a levitation spell. I dried myself off as thoroughly as I could, my tail and mane quickly regaining their lovely curls. Once I stepped out of the shower, Mitta was there to greet me. "Are you all right now? Would some warm tea help? We have plenty of chamomile."

Sweet dear Mitta. Always trying to be so supportive. The offer of warm tea certainly sounded inviting. "I would appreciate that… If you may, could you bring it up to my room? There's something in there that I must tend to."

"All right. I'll bring it up as soon as it's done." Mitta departed quickly. Perhaps she could see how distraught I was. Regardless, I entered my bedroom and closed the door behind me. There were only a few bare mannequins in the room aside from my wardrobe, secondary workstation, and luxurious bed. However, what I was searching for was nearby. One of my most important projects.

It stood taller than me, a curtain hanging from the wall set up around it. And with a magical pull, the curtain parted. Standing before me was a mannequin crafted in the visage of a human. And adorning it was an incomplete ensemble. At the bottom lay a pair of polished black shoes with brass buckles. The trousers were as white as the purest clouds. And the white jacket… Oh, I put my all into getting the design just right! A design that is both spectacular, yet comfortable for the wearer. With twin tails much like those of a swallow hanging from the back. And on the upper arms… Sewn into the fabric was a pair of patches. Each designed to resemble a pair of doves, talons locked with wings spread… His cutie mark…

No… It was not the time for tears. It was near completion and his funeral is only a week away. You must be strong, Rarity. Finish it. Do it for your beloved! If not to be worn to every Grand Galloping Gala from this day forward, then it will be the last thing he ever wears!

My resolve strengthened for the moment, I set about completing my project. I locked my door and gathered my supplies. While my equipment floated within hoof's reach, I placed my magnifying spectacles upon my nose. Were the tails on the jacket too short? Are the cutie mark patches at just the right height? Buttons or zipper… Oh, certainly brass buttons! Is that a seam on the trousers that has not been closed? I circled and circled and stitched and cut and sewed. Not a single flaw escaped my gaze. And finally… It was done.

I stood before the finest attire I had ever crafted for a human. Beautiful… Simply beautiful. Tears of sorrow and pride flowed from my eyes. It was fantastic. Princely, even. I could already see him standing before me in it. Casting such a warm and thankful smile towards me. He dropped to one knee, taking my hoof in hand and placing a tender kiss upon it. His words… Asking if he may be my knight for the evening… Oh, Sir James… I would gladly be yours for the evening…

"Rari…ty? Uh… Are you OK?" I heard a voice speak from the doorway, bringing me out of my trance. I froze. My hoof was extended toward the… Oh dear, how embarrassing. I must have forgotten to lock the door when I closed it. I pulled my hoof away instantly while trying to smile, my hoof wiping my tears away. I do not think anypony has ever walked in on me having one of my fantasies before. Well, except for the time where Rainbow Dash crashed into my window while I… That is a story for another day.

One look at the doorway revealed the speaker to be Mitta. And resting upon her back was a tea tray carrying a teapot and a pair of tiny cups. She seemed both baffled and concerned for me. Rightfully so. "Um… Why were you posing like that? And… Oh, it's finished?!"

She trotted over to me and beheld my latest masterpiece. "It's…beautiful! Is this what you were talking about? James' new Grand Galloping Gala attire?"

"It is… The previous one, while spectacular with real gold thread woven in, felt…off. But now that I have a much stronger grasp of his true nature, I wove something to project the real him. And…it turned out fabulous." I spoke softly while still basking in its beauty. Of course, it would never see the Grand Galloping Gala now… In a mere week, it would be buried in the ground never to be seen again.

I proceeded to pull over a spare round table and a pair of stools for us. Once the tray was set out before us, I used levitation to pour us both a steaming cup of tea. The faint scent of honey wafted from the golden fluid. Truly the unmistakable aroma of chamomile tea with some extra honey added in. "Many thanks for the tea, Mitta…"

"It's no problem… But… Do you want to talk? I've never seen you this…upset before. Well, actually… I've seen you about this upset before when something really wasn't going your way or you were stressed from a heavy workload, but…this feels different somehow." She replied softly while sipping her tea. I could see it in her crimson eyes. She knew something was amiss.

I dreaded what would happen if she learned the truth. Of course, I could not hide it forever. "Mitta… What I am about to say… It is not easy for me, all right? It involves our friend."

She seemed confused at first. But after a second of silence, she glanced over at the beautiful attire I had just woven. "You mean James? He went to Canterlot with you just yesterday, right? How did that go?"

"Well… We accomplished what the princesses asked of us… So I suppose you can say it was a success…even if it came with a heavy cost." I was terrified to speak the truth. There had to be a way to ease her into it. I know Mitta values James highly. The first friend she had gained since…however long ago that curse was placed upon her. It was he who went back for her. Braved the dangers of the Everfree Forest. And entirely on his own. Just to bring her to the princesses of the moon to purify her.

"Heavy cost? What was it? The castle wasn't damaged, was it?" She asked in return, still completely ignorant to the nature of the sacrifice we had endured… I turned my gaze to the attire covering the human mannequin nearby, which Mitta soon did as well. "It really is lovely, Rarity. I can't wait to see him wear it to the Grand Galloping Gala."

It was then that I decided to relay the truth to her. My heart heavy, I spoke quietly. "No… It will never see the Grand Galloping Gala now. The only time it will be worn is during his funeral."

Mitta immediately turned her head to face me, her expression of bewilderment slowly turning into one of horror. "At his funeral? Why would… Wait… Rarity, you don't mean… He's not…?"

I bowed my head. The tears swiftly returned to me as I spoke the truth. "A grave crisis grew shortly after our arrival. James got swept up in it and… He fell in battle against the Spirit of Chaos… He's gone, Mitta… Gone and there wasn't a thing we could do to save him…"

Her stare was blank. She did not speak at all for a moment. At first, I thought she was in shock. However, she then began to speak quietly. "You're serious…? He's…dead?"

I nodded solemnly. "He is… I saw him lie dead before me. And even at the hospital, I was the one the doctor relayed the news to… I wish it was all a lie, but…"

Mitta turned her gaze to the cup of tea. Her eyes… They did not shed tears. They seemed…troubled, but also confused. As if she was uncertain of how to process what I had just said to her. Could it be that being trapped out there in that cursed town for centuries had dulled her ability to respond to certain events? I finally spoke up in concern. "Mitta… Darling, are you all right?"

"I don't know, Rarity… I'm not entirely certain of what to feel… I know you wouldn't lie to me, but…I'm not sure if I believe you." She quietly said in return. She then lifted her gaze until she was looking at me with such a…conflicted stare. "It's been so long since I last felt loss… It was different with Ruby. I never forgot about what happened with her, but…it just dissolved into a state of depression and self-loathing after a while. I… I just don't know what to think of this. I feel a sting in my heart, but…"

I saw a tear fall from her cheek, so I lifted a napkin to it to dry her coat. "I know… I… I still am having difficulty coming to terms with the loss myself… His funeral will be held in exactly one week, Mitta. Maybe then you will understand how to feel. It will be our last chance to say goodbye…"

"Thank you for telling me, Rarity. I'll be sure to attend… Uh… May I be excused? I… I just need some time to get my thoughts together…" I could not refuse her request. With a nod, I gave her permission to depart.

Once again, I was alone. And soon, I stood before the final ensemble I had ever crafted for my beloved. I know his heart belonged to another, but my heart still pined for him. Such is its nature. I reached out to it, hoping to maybe feel him through it. But as I did, I saw it on my hoof. The bracelet. That silver band lined with opals. I had all but forgotten.

I could still remember… Mere days after his arrival. I saw when we first met how he had nowhere to go. It would not do for a newcomer to have nowhere to stay for the night. And I had to make it up to him after smashing his forehead into my doorway by accident… He was so modest. Almost as if he was unwilling to accept all my aid. But I had to do something for the wayward soul. And then…after weaving for him that gorgeous robe to be worn to the Grand Galloping Gala, he bestowed upon me that wondrous gift. I saw it within him then at that moment. Such generosity. The same as mine… And now…the one who gave me this lovely band is…

Tears once more clouded my vision. A new wrath filled my heart. Not towards anyone else, but towards myself. He gave me this gift, and I threw him away without ever once thinking of it. I rushed to the window, pushing it open before sliding my bracelet off. "I am not worthy of this… For what I did to you, I do not deserve this gift!"

Using the levitation spell, I hurled it out the window. I lowered my head. It was gone. That lovely gift, but…I did not deserve to keep it. However, I soon turned my head up. I had heard something. The tree just outside my home. At first, I could not see anything through the rain. But with the next flash of lightning, I saw it. The bracelet had not fallen to the ground. It had become snagged on the tip of a branch. It hung there, forlornly. As if mocking me for my failure. No matter how the wind blew, it did not fall.

I looked down at my ankle. For the first time in a year, it was bare. I never removed it. I always kept it close. A gift that was not requested, yet given it was. I turned my gaze to the bracelet hanging outside my window. I could have removed it with levitation and cast it again, but… I did not. I felt that would be the best place for it to stay. A permanent reminder of what I have lost. A reminder of what the last things I did and said to him were…

No more… I cannot continue writing. My eyes are so tired… So painful. I must sleep. I need to deliver that attire to Canterlot in the morning.

* * *

It's been a long day. I mean a really long day. Just… Well, I'm sure Rainbow Dash already wrote down what happened with the fillies. I just sat there with Granny Smith while sipping that hot cider. Along with the clicking of the clock on the wall, all I heard was the sound of the rain out the door.

She just rocked back and forth in her chair, although it was kind of hard to notice. After a while, I just looked down at my reflection on the surface of the cider in my glass. I could still see the bandage over my eye. I definitely got what I had coming with that…

"Got somethin' on yer mind, Applejack?" Granny Smith asked while I just sat there all quiet like. I guess she had every right to be worried. I hadn't felt that torn up inside since back when we lost Ma and Pa.

It took me a while, but I finally managed to force out some words without even looking at her. "The last thing I ever said to 'im was that I always hated him…"

She just looked at me for a minute. That familiar lazy stare. "Y'all didn't really mean that, did ya?"

"Of course I didn't, Granny! But I was stuck under some sorta corruption by that Discord jerk! And I promised I wouldn't fall for his tricks again!" I barked out like Winona does to stampeding sheep. I really didn't mean to, but… I was just so mad at myself. I then just looked down at myself in my glass again. "And he died…not knowin' that I wasn't myself. He died thinkin' I really did hate 'im… And I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that…"

Granny Smith just shook her head. "Applejack… I've heard some real heartbreakin' stories in my years, but that's just one of the saddest things I've ever heard of. And I wish I could help ya. But just remember this, youngin'. He probably still loved ya in the end. I've seen that fella 'round before and he didn't seem like the type ta leave his friends that easily. I'm sure even if ya didn't tell 'im, he's lookin' down at ya right now."

If only she knew… "Granny… You don't know how right ya are… When we found 'im, he had drawn out our cutie marks in his own blood… I don't know if I should feel more ashamed or honored he did that…"

"He did that, huh…? And yer cutie mark was one of 'em?" I only nodded. I'll never forget those pictures of red… "Well… I know I'd feel honored if a good friend did that for me in his last minutes. He must've really loved you girls."

"He did, Granny… I know he did…" I felt the tears coming again. It just hurt… Knowing you were on the mind of someone important to you right up to the end… Even if you had a hoof in his death. I don't even know how to put into words how I felt right there. But before I could say anything else, I saw someone look at me from my left. Right next to my head. My big brother. "Big Macintosh…?"

"I heard, AJ…" He said really quietly. Even more quietly than he normally talks. I could tell that he was trying to hold back tears. He might be quiet, but Big Macintosh is a pretty emotional guy.

I really couldn't say much. I looked at him while my vision got a might blurred. "So… You know?"

He gently held me in a warm brotherly hug while I did the same. I felt a tear fall on my back. "Eyup…"

With all that rain, it was too much trouble to do any harvesting for the day. We all stayed indoors. In took a few hours, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders eventually came back downstairs. Well, all of them except for Apple Bloom. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo didn't even look at me before they ran out the door. I reckon they were just going home. I didn't see Apple Bloom again until after dark.

I was about ready to turn in for the night, but I couldn't stop worrying about my little sister. I peeked in on her in her bedroom. It was quiet. I was probably the only one still up. At least until I saw her look my way. She looked hurt. Almost like she had been crying. "Whaddya want, sis…?"

I felt myself sigh. I could see it in her eyes. "I'm just checkin' on you. Ya had me worried by stayin' cooped up in yer room all day."

I stood right next to her bed. Apple Bloom was having a hard time looking at me. "I'm fine… Just havin' trouble sleepin' tonight."

"Apple Bloom… I'm sorry. I was just bein' honest when I told ya that." I knew the news of James' death was the trouble. She and the other girls didn't take it very well, especially after I showed them the proof.

"Yeah? Well…I still think yer lyin'…" She was trying really hard to not believe he could be gone. And I don't blame her.

I gently nuzzled her cheek to show I was there for her. It ain't easy to lose someone, especially when you're just a kid. "Believe me, lil' sis. I wish I was lyin' too. I wish this wasn't happenin'…"

She didn't say anything for a minute, so I tried to break the ice. "Do ya miss him?"

"Uh huh… But he's…" She then looked up at me as tears started flowing down her cheeks. "He's not really… He's gonna be home soon, right?"

I couldn't lie to her about that. I gently rubbed her little head, her bow being on her nightstand on the other side of her bed. "Apple Bloom… It's like that lil' slip of paper said. You'll have the chance to say goodbye in one week."

"Yer lyin' again! That wasn't really a…" She stood up in bed, looking like she was about to have a breakdown. She was trying really hard to not believe what I said. But she knows I'm not the lying type either.

I placed my hoof on her shoulder. "Apple Bloom… It's OK. Yer a big girl now. And even big girls have ta let out their feelin's. It's all right. Let it out. I promise I won't think any less of ya."

She choked. She shook her head as the tears really started pouring. She squinted her eyes shut before letting out a scream and falling into my arms. It broke my heart to see my little sister so hurt, but there was nothing I could do except give her a shoulder to cry on. The last time I ever saw her cry that hard was when she was still in diapers.

I couldn't help crying a bit myself. It hurt to know what had happened, but I couldn't even guess how little Apple Bloom was feeling to have lost a friend. "I know ya liked 'im… He was always good to you fillies…"

I don't know how long it took. She eventually sat down with tears and snot covering her face. While she kept sniffling, I passed her a handkerchief to blow her nose with. But even after that, she still couldn't stop crying. "It's not fair… It's not fair…"

"No… It's not fair. He didn't deserve this…" I sat by her side, holding her against me. I wasn't going anywhere until she was settled in for the night.

"I miss 'im, Applejack… I don't wanna believe he ain't ever comin' home…" She squealed while resting her head against me. "He got Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ta stop bein' jerks to us… He was the first Cutie Mark Crusader to get his cutie mark… I wanted ta get mine and show 'im so he'd know we could get ours too…"

"And I know ya will someday, sis… When that day comes, you'll tell 'im at his grave, right?" I know it wasn't easy to bring up the part about the grave. I don't even know if he can still see us from…wherever he is now.

I felt her nod. But she then asked me something. "AJ… Could I…sleep with you tonight? I… I really don't wanna be alone right now…"

I couldn't say no to that. I could probably use a little company myself. "Sure thing, sis. Let's go get settled in for the night."

Little Apple Bloom is already out like a light next to me. I know it's going to take a long time before she gets over this. I'm not entirely sure if I'll ever get over it myself… But… James… If you're out there. If you're still watching us… Then… From the bottom of my heart… I'm sorry. I never hated you. I never even disliked you. You were always a friend to me since day 1. I just wish… I wish you knew that in the end… And I wish you knew how much all your other friends are going to miss you… Maybe someday…I'll be able to say that to you in person.

* * *

I hardly spoke after I got home. And Spike knew something was wrong right after I walked in the door. Everything just felt like one long blur. Was I dreaming? I wish I was. What a gloomy day…

Hours went by. I skipped lunch. It wasn't until around dinnertime that I felt something tap my shoulder. I had lost myself in a book of poetry… What was the name of the author? It was all just to distract me anyway. When I turned to look, I saw him. Spike was holding a tray with a teapot and a cup on it. "I got you some tea, Twilight. I thought some lemon and mint would help."

I sometimes wonder how I would have ever gotten by without him. I gently lifted the tray with magic and poured myself a cup. "Thanks, Spike… I could really use this."

That taste of lemon and mint was really refreshing. I felt so tired, but it helped me feel like I could get through the day. But then… Spike asked a question I had been hoping I could avoid. "Twilight… Are you sure you're OK? You haven't said ten words since you got home this morning."

"You wouldn't understand, Spike…" I was too tired to really talk much at all. Too much crying. But instead of leaving me alone, I felt Spike rest his hand on my hoof when I reached for the next page of my book.

"Twilight… You're kinda scaring me. I know I'm just a kid, but I'll try to understand. I'm here for you, OK?" I could tell he was trying to comfort me the best he could. And I have confided in him numerous times before… Perhaps one more thing to entrust to him would not hurt, although I had no way of knowing if someone as young as him could comprehend loss or death.

"Thanks, Spike… I'm just… I'm just in mourning right now… And I don't know when or if I'll ever get better." I did not want to worry him, but… This ache in my heart… It feels like it will never leave.

Spike continued to constantly look at me with that worrisome expression. He is usually so diligent and happy, but he more than anypony could see something was wrong with me. "Twilight… What happened yesterday? Why couldn't you come home? I know you wrote that something horrible had happened, but… You all came home safely, right?"

"All but one of us… One of us won't ever be coming home now." I finally lost my nerve and lightly slammed my face into the book in front of me. "He's… James is dead, Spike… He's gone and I could've been there for him…"

His reaction was about as much as I expected. I do not believe Spike has ever even attended a funeral. But still, he did show a small degree of sorrow. He frowned and bowed his head. "He… James is…dead…?"

Spike has never been one of James' closest friends. But even so, they always got along well. He looked up at me, almost like he was not sure of how to react. "He's…dead? As in…I'll never see him again?"

I decided to be honest in my words while I looked at him. "You'll have the chance to see him one last time. His funeral will be held here in one week…"

"OK… I'll… I need to go find something…" He ran off pretty quickly. I wonder what he was thinking…

I was so tired that night that I left my journal out without really finishing. I felt so alone when I went to sleep. I think I might have cried myself to sleep again. But I was awoken by a sound. Was Spike having a nightmare? It sounded like he was muffled. I cast a spell to light a candle on my nightstand and looked around. It was very dark, but I could see some movement in Spike's little bed right next to mine.

I climbed out of bed and walked over to him. He was turned away from me and kept groaning while squirming under his blanket. "Spike? What's wrong? Come on, wake up. You don't sound too good."

The strange thing is that he seemed like he was trying to look at me over his shoulder. Was he awake? I used the levitation spell to rotate him until he was looking right at me. But what I saw shocked me. He was indeed awake, but he was covered by some strange dark green…membrane from the jaws down.

"What is this…?!" I tried touching the bizarre substance. It was soft and flexible, almost like latex. But it almost seemed…familiar. Almost like it was…produced by an insect. But…wait…

I froze as I felt a presence behind me. A powerful sense of dread caused my heart to nearly stop as a familiar distorted voice spoke from behind me. "We need to talk."

Before I could even turn, some sort of…force shoved me right off the ledge and hurled me across the room before pinning me to the wall. My legs were held apart, billowing green 'shackles' holding me up. I saw something tall jump down from where I had been standing in the shadows and began to approach me. As it drew near, green flames began to ignite and float in the air. And soon, I saw those big green round eyes gazing at me from several inches away. The Changeling queen.

"You… Why now?! What do you want?!" I was helpless. Spike was being restrained. And if I even tried to get out of her grasp by using the teleportation spell, she would probably intercept me. I could see them somewhere behind her being illuminated by the flames. Several more Changelings gazing at us with their blue insect eyes. They must have jumped Spike in his sleep.

"What do I want? I seem to recall telling you during our last encounter some time ago to take very good care of him." She spoke with a distorted growl to her voice. What is her name again? Chrysalis? "And from what my scouts tell me, he now lies dead in Canterlot. Explain yourself, Twilight Sparkle." The billowing green aura surrounding her crooked horn quivered and glowed more brightly, as if preparing to cast another spell on me if I did not cooperate.

It hurt to have to be reminded… I lowered my head and did not look at her. "Discord… He got free again and…"

Those words seemed to get her attention. She looked at me with a slight look of shock. "Wait… Discord? That lunatic? He was freed again?" I only nodded. Her look of anger seemed to fade just slightly while the aura over her horn appeared to weaken. "Go on…"

If I had to guess, she must have been intimately familiar with Discord's madness. Even so, I proceeded to explain. "James… He came with us to help. We were separated in the castle's labyrinth. One by one, he corrupted four of my friends. He found them, they hurt him, and it… He… He went mad with despair! He left the maze, tricked Discord into removing his immortality and… It was a bloodbath! He butchered Discord! But…he let himself be mortally wounded in the process. I don't know if it was to spite Discord or because he felt he had nothing else to live for once that…'game' ended…"

I was once again in tears. It was agonizing to have to remember that day… But as I hung there, I heard Chrysalis let out a long sigh. "Curse you, Discord… You mad idiot."

I felt my restraints release me just before I fell to the floor in a heap. I looked up at the Changeling queen before me, her predatory eyes gazing down at me in disdain. "Very well. You are off the hook. If that madman was truly involved in this mess, then you surely must have had next to no control over the outcome. Count yourself lucky, Twilight Sparkle."

She sounded like she was too familiar with Discord's madness. "Why are you… How do you know…"

She partially turned away from me. "You cannot tell by looking at me, but I have been around far longer than you can imagine. I have seen much during my reign. I have seen Discord's descent into madness and what that madness wrought. His will was impossible to resist. If he decided to wreck someone's life for laughs, then that person's life would be wrecked. No questions asked."

She then turned to Spike's bed above her on the ledge that our beds rest upon and seemed to cast a spell. From where I was, I saw the sack that covered him ignite in green fire. At first, I nearly panicked. But I breathed a sigh of relief to see Spike sit up completely unharmed and unrestrained. "Well… Seems it's back to the drawing board. Come, my brood. We must depart."

I saw the window behind the desk next to me open while its panes were briefly coated by a green aura. The green flames that floated in the air began to dim. But I still had questions. "Wait! Why?! What did you want with him?! Why was James so important to you?!"

I saw her look directly at me. "What does it matter by this point? He is dead now, so he is of no further use to me."

In flashes of green fire, I saw her minions suddenly transform into…bats? "I highly doubt we will ever cross paths again, Twilight Sparkle. This corner of the world has proven itself to be too troublesome to conquer. We will seek out other regions to suit our needs. Farewell." In a flash of green fire, Chrysalis too became a bat and led her followers out of my home through the open window. And like that, they were gone.

Tears still blurring my vision, I used my own magic to close my window. I heard Spike call down to me from behind. "Twilight, do you think we should tell Princess Celestia about this?! I mean that was the Changeling queen herself! This could be bad!"

I sighed deeply. "No, Spike… I don't think we have to worry about anything. I really don't think we'll be seeing her again…"

I slowly walked back up the steps to my bed, but Spike kept trying to talk to me. Those Changelings must have gave him a good fright. "You're sure? I mean it could be a trick. Maybe she said that to…"

"Spike. Go back to bed. She's not coming back. I know she's not." I really was not in the mood to continue the discussion with these wounds in my heart reopened. But before I got back in bed, I looked Spike over. "Are you OK though? That green fire… Did it hurt you?"

Spike looked himself over too before smiling reassuringly. "Huh? Um… No, I'm fine. I don't think those flames even touched me. Besides, it wouldn't have done anything. Dragons are pretty much fireproof, remember?"

"Oh, right... I forgot that about dragon anatomy… But still…let's just go back to sleep. I'm not in the mood for anything else right now…" I climbed right back in bed and pulled the covers back over me.

"OK… Sweet dreams, Twilight." Spike said briefly before he too curled up in his little bed.

Now I can wrap this journal up properly. It really has been helpful in making me cope with what has been happening. But still… In one week, I will be seeing him one last time… And Chrysalis. What was she… I suppose she was right. It does not matter now. Whatever it was she had planned for us, it was foiled when James died. But…was it worth it?

No… It could never have been worth it. I would rather have faced whatever she had planned with my closest friends by my side than foil her plans by losing one of them forever. Just…how are things going to go from now on? I… I am honestly fearing for the future. What is going to happen to us now?

I cannot keep writing. I need to sleep. My eyes hurt too much…

* * *

I just don't get it... What's gotten into Rainbow Dash?! Why would she joke about something like that? I saw James this morning and he was just fine then! I know Rainbow Dash likes to joke around with me, but to even make one of those little pamphlets for a funeral? What, did she lose a bet to do something that mean?

At least the rain stopped when I left Sweet Apple Acres to go home. I was so sure we'd get our cutie marks as ventriloquists... Man, it feels like I'll never get my cutie mark at this rate... No! I know I can! I mean my big brother got his only a week after he first met us! If he can do it, so can I!

When I got home... You know. Fluttershy's place. The whole place felt...way too quiet. None of the birds were singing after the rain stopped. I didn't see any of our little furry neighbors running around. Well, maybe they were just staying out of the rain thinking it might start up again. I didn't want to get wet either, so I went inside. It was kinda dark. Did Fluttershy not come home yet?

I flipped on the closest light switch and called out for her. "Fluttershy! James! I'm home!"

I waited a few seconds. Something was weird here. Whenever I call for him, I always hear James' footsteps somewhere in the house. But I didn't hear anything. "Huh? Hey, James! You home?! How was Canterlot?! Everything turn out OK?! Are we gonna get more chocolate milk rain today?!"

Still nothing. Oh well. I went to the kitchen and opened up the fridge. I had put out some buckets to catch some of that weird chocolate milk that was raining yesterday and got a good amount. I stuck a straw in and slurped it up. Yummy! When I had enough, I went upstairs. Maybe they were taking a nap.

"James? Fluttershy? Are you... Huh?" I didn't see James anywhere, but I saw Fluttershy lying on her bed. Looked like she was asleep, but I was getting hungry. I better wake her up to make dinner.

"Fluttershy? I'm kinda hungry. What's for dinner?" I asked her before going around to the other side. "Are you awake? Is James gonna..."

She was awake. But she wasn't moving. All she did was look at me with...really sad eyes. Had she been crying? "Fluttershy...? Are you...OK?"

"Please... Leave me alone... I'm sorry..." She sounded so tired. Like... I don't know. It was kinda scary to see her like that. Fluttershy's really nice and sweet, but really shy too. But... What happened to her?

"Uh... OK, I'll leave you alone. But is James home yet?" She didn't even say anything to that. She just buried her face in her pillow and shivered really hard.

I left Fluttershy alone after that. But I was still hungry, so I made myself a daisy and grass sandwich with honey mustard. I used to live by myself, so I know a bit about making food. I sat on the sofa in the living room while I ate. It was really quiet except for the sound of the rain again. The thunder and lightning flashes didn't bother me. But...I felt really lonely.

I looked over at the corner behind the sofa. James' big wooden sword was leaning up against it. Apple Bloom put a lot of work into making it. I forget what kind of wood she used, but she said it was really strong. I've seen James swing it around a few times. He really likes it. I just wish he was there with me.

While I ate, I felt something land on my head. It was Angela, James' pet dove. "Oh... Hey there, Angela. Have you seen James?"

She hopped down and cooed really sadly while nuzzling me. She looked pretty lonely too. "Yeah, I miss him too... I wish I knew what was keeping him. I wanna go over to Sugarcube Corner for some milkshakes with him tomorrow after school. Wanna come?"

Angela cooed pretty loudly while she tried to preen me. She then hopped on my back and started dragging her beak through my feathers. She does that sometimes. I don't think I really need it, but Angela likes to preen my wings. I smiled at her. She's such a good bird.

I took a shower a little later and got in bed. That's where I'm writing this from. But Fluttershy never moved from her bed. It... I was really worried for her. Would she be OK after a good night sleep? Well, I'm all snuggled and tucked in now. But I'm not going to sleep yet. I wanna wait for James to say goodnight first.

It's kind of...creepy with all this really gloomy weather and he's still not around. I really miss him. I know he's my big brother even though he adopted me, but... I can't believe I'm admitting this, but he's the closest thing to a dad I've ever known. I know I don't show it much and I really try to hide it when I'm outside with him in Ponyville, but I really love him. I don't know what I'd do without him... Hey, maybe I'll show him this when he gets home! He'll probably feel all warm and fuzzy when he reads it.

It's been an hour now. Still no sign of him. Maybe he'll kiss me on the head goodnight. Or maybe he'll tell another bedtime story. Which one though? Is it gonna be about that little pink round guy that swallows things to get crazy awesome abilities and that blue round guy with the mask who has bat wings and swings a sword faster than sound? Or maybe about that story of the guy in blue armor who shoots fire and all sorts of things from his arm and the red guy with long blond hair who uses a sword with a blade of green light? Oh, or that one about the guy who throws a boomerang with his little pink flying cat who's really a baby dragon? Man, I can't imagine Spike looking like a purple cat with wings. He'd probably hate being that cute.

It's almost midnight... But I still don't hear him. I'm so tired though... James, where are you? Come home, big brother. I wanna see you before I go to sleep. Just a little longer...

* * *

Wakey wakey… Time to get up. Its time to bake some yummy goodies. Ugh, I felt so awful… Like I was a sack of gravel. Heh, rock jokes. I haven't used one of those in a long time. Usually Maud is the one to make those.

What was wrong with me this morning? I just couldn't get my mane and tail to look right. Wait… I know why. I just wish it didn't happen… Why did it happen… I don't even remember anymore… Wait… I do remember. But I wish I could forget.

I went downstairs into Sugarcube Corner's storefront and bumped into Mr. Cake at the counter. He looked at me and tried to smile, but I think he stopped himself. "Hm? Oh, good morning, Pinkie. You feeling all right this morning?"

I told him everything that happened while me and my friends were away in Canterlot yesterday and the day before that. Only…there's one friend missing in my circle of super special friends… "Good morning, Mr. Cake. Um… I think I'm feeling…a little better than yesterday?"

He looked me over for a few seconds. I guess he could see I wasn't looking myself. "Are you sure you're OK? If you want, you can take the day off. I know you're probably still…upset."

Figures. But I had to do something to make myself feel better and working in Sugarcube Corner puts a smile on my face. "No, it's OK. I can work today. I'll just go and punch in now. Is Mrs. Cake here?"

"All right, if you're sure about that. And yes, she's in the back checking inventory. You go ahead and punch in. I've got a list of things that need to be whipped up for the day. If you need help, just let us know." He said before looking back under the front counter. I just went into the kitchen to get started.

Things went by OK at first. I made some cupcakes and muffins, even if I was kinda slow about it. "Three eggs, one teaspoon of vanilla… What else?" I kept almost getting my mane in the batter. I wish it would stop hanging so low, but I can't do a thing about it.

I made a couple dozen trays of cupcakes. And then it was time for the chocolate drops. But after I baked the little round dough circles and topped one with a layer of chocolate… When did we even start making chocolate drops? Oh, right. The recipe came from where James… He's the one who…

I don't know what happened next. I just can't remember. I can remember everything getting blurry and I heard a scream or wail. I think it came from me? When everything started to clear up, my face was wet. Those little dough circles were everywhere on the floor. My head hurt and my throat was sore. And Mrs. Cake was wiping me down with a little broom. I think I spilled some flour on me.

"Easy there, dearie. Are you OK now? No more crying?" She whispered to me quietly. I always loved her like a second mom. And she and Mr. Cake always look out for me.

I looked at the unfinished chocolate drops around me. They remind me of… I almost lost it again, but Mrs. Cake touched my shoulder while looking at me with that concerned motherly gaze of hers. "The drops… They… He… I can't…" I couldn't even talk. I… I just miss him so much…

Mrs. Cake shook her head and helped me stand up. "I know, Pinkie. I'm going to miss him too. He introduced some recipes that have become very popular since we started selling them. So soft-spoken and diligent with his work… But… I'm sorry, but I think you should take a few days off. You're really in no condition to be working back here, dearie."

I guess she was right. My head… So many thoughts and emotions. I felt so hurt, angry, sad, guilty… "OK, Mrs. Cake… I'll just…go back upstairs… Sorry…"

I punched out and went back up to the loft. It was looking pretty sunny outside. It…really didn't feel right. We had been getting a lot of rain lately. Why wasn't it still raining?

It was so quiet up in my place. Maybe I would just go back to bed. But when I walked by my mirror… I saw myself. My coat was so dark. My mane and tail were smooth and straight. But it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me. It was how I really looked. My eyes… They didn't have all that peppy energy they always do. It was like a part of me died inside…

"Why did this happen…?" I asked my reflection. I didn't expect an answer. But I got one anyway.

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe you should ask yourself." My reflection said back to me. At first, I thought I was the one who talked. But it wasn't me. It was her…again.

I wasn't going to listen to her, so I pulled a curtain over it. But I could still hear her. "Hey, I know you're still out there! And I know what you were thinking! You felt really good when you saw him lying dead there. It felt awesome to know you did something that killed him. Way to go, killer."

It was all a lie… I knew who she was. She is my doubt. Whenever I feel like I did something wrong. I mean really wrong… She stopped talking after that, but… She's right. I did kill him. Maybe not directly, but… Wait…

Hang on. It's coming back to me now. I know what happened. I Pinkie Promised… And nopony… NOPONY breaks a Pinkie Promise! Especially not Pinkie Pie! And we Pinkie Promised that we wouldn't let Discord get to us again! So everything I heard and saw… It was all just an illusion! Something to mess with us!

I feel my mane and tail. They're not being dragged down anymore. Nice and poofy! So yeah. We didn't break that promise because we COULDN'T break it! Cross our hearts, hope to die, stick a cupcake in our eyes. That means…James is OK! And let's see… Today's a Monday. That means James should be coming into work in a little while. Well, now that I'm feeling better, I can get back to work. I'll just stop here for now and finish this up when my shift ends. Oh, and I better feed Gummy before I head downstairs.

Well, everything went by OK today. Lots of sales, but the weird thing is James never showed up for work. I don't think he's ever had a sick day before. But I guess there's a first time for everything. And whenever I asked if something was up with him, Mr. and Mrs. Cake kept giving me the weirdest looks.

I just wonder what was keeping him. I mean he's showed up late, but he never missed a day. And I haven't seen any of my other closest friends all day either. I wonder where they are. I can't remember the last time I went through a whole day without seeing them. I'll just have to fix that tomorrow! I'll swing by the spa and say hi to James there and take a nice long soak in the hot tub. Maybe I'll even see Rarity and Fluttershy there for their weekly spa visit.

Huh? What's this feeling? I feel… My mane and tail are drooping… No, that's a lie! That was all just a trick! Keep smiling, Pinkie! You know you would never break a Pinkie Promise! Everything's OK. We stopped Discord again and we all came home. Everything's fine! Just fine…

I really hate days where I don't get to see my best friends. Now I feel just a little bit gloomy. Huh? Wait a minute. I got mail today. Almost forgot to open it. Let's see… In loving memory? You are invited… Well, this is weird! Somepony's playing a prank on me! James' funeral? I don't know what that's all about, but I guess I'll go. Next Sunday? Hmm… I bet this is the Cutie Mark Crusaders doing something new. Maybe they asked James to help them see if their special talents are being undertakers?

Well, since they're trying so hard, I guess I'll go just to be a good sport! Now, time to get Gummy some dinner. He keeps chomping on my tail, so he must be really hungry.

* * *

It's been two days since Rarity came home and… I… I just don't know what to feel. I know she would never lie to me about anything like that, but… James? He's dead? How can that be? I just don't see how…

Today felt so…empty. I woke up on the sofa like usual, but…the place felt lifeless. Just a dreadful atmosphere. Was Rarity even awake at the time? I looked out the window. A bit cloudy. And the air pressure… I could feel that it was going to rain. I went into the kitchen, but… I felt no hunger. I did not feel the urge to cry and I probably should've eaten something. But…what was this feeling?

I felt the need to go outside for a while. I know Rarity would be fine without me for a while. I wandered through town as a light drizzle started to come down. I just wandered aimlessly. I came to the western edge of Ponyville. And soon, I was gazing at it. The Everfree Forest. My former home…and prison.

I could feel my eyes starting to moisten. For so long… Centuries. Maybe even a full millennium. I had been confined to Sunny Town along with the murderers who pummeled Ruby to death. And I know for certain they are still out there. Probably still blissfully unaware of their sin.

"Are you OK, Mitta?" I heard a child's voice speak from next to me. When I looked, I found Ruby herself looking up at me. Still the same little ghost child I've known since the day after her murder. And the only friend I ever knew until…he came.

"I… I don't know, Ruby." I said quietly. I had been filled with sorrow for so long over the centuries before I finally started to age again. Had my mind just become…accustomed to sadness and loss? I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel as bad as Rarity does right now. But I just couldn't.

Ruby tenderly nuzzled me, her head resting on my shoulder while I draped my head over her. "I heard… And I feel it. He's not in this world anymore, is he?"

I guess I should've known. Being a ghost, Ruby is more attuned to supernatural forces than those among the living. And surely she too must've known something had happened. "Then…he's really gone?"

My old friend looked up at me with her glowing yellow eyes. She frowned, showing far more maturity and understanding of the situation than any child ever could. "Yesterday… I hid on a train that was going to Canterlot. I wanted to see what happened. And… Canterlot a really pretty place. Lots of fancy things you don't see down here. But…I looked around. And…I found the place, Mitta. It was a mess. Like maybe a hydra got into a fight with a dragon."

Some sort of battle happened? And it involved someone called Discord, from what I was told. "I didn't see anyone out there. But…I felt it. It was still lingering. His spirit had been there before. Someone… Well, more than one person was there. They must've moved on though because I didn't feel them anywhere. But I… I think I felt one of them. It felt broken… Like it didn't have any hope left. I think that presence was James. I… I don't even know what happened to him, but… He's not in this world anymore, Mitta. I just hope wherever he is, he's happy…"

So it's like Rarity said. Gone… I nodded and gently nuzzled my little friend. "Thank you, Ruby. Um… May I ask for some privacy? I need a minute."

"OK, Mitta. I'll go let Rarity know you're out here." And off she went. I was alone once more.

I looked back at the Everfree Forest ahead of me. I never want to ever set foot in there again. But as I gazed at it, I remembered. For so long, I was trapped in there. And every night, I would see the curse take hold of me and everypony else in Sunny Town. A reminder of the consequences of my choice.

After the first century, I had resigned myself to my fate. No one ever came to the village. There was no hope of ever being freed of the curse as long as the others refused to recognize what they did as evil. And then, after who knows how long, I saw him. The first human visitor in centuries. Before the curse was cast, I heard that the humans of this world had vanished. But there he was, standing tall above me. I warned him of what was going to happen at nightfall. And he only barely got out of there in time just as the curse took hold. And when he saw my rotten undead form, he was understandably startled. But he then did something I never expected anyone to.

He held me. Embraced me. I had forgotten what it's like to receive compassion. And that human saw past my undead form for who I really am. My first friend in…over a thousand years. He left as I warned him to never return. I was alone again with only Ruby to provide me occasional company. And it remained that way for months. But then the day came where my newest friend did something I couldn't have seen coming. He returned.

The armor he wore was beautiful. A dark blue with pure white wings, I almost thought he was an angel from the heavens. And he might as well have been. Because that night, he rescued me from my prison. He came back not to visit, but to save me. And he did. In a spectacular display of divine justice, he destroyed every last cursed murderer in that hellish village and led me through and out of the Everfree Forest. I felt so scared when I stood before the princesses in Canterlot. Especially when she showed herself. The one who cursed me in the first place. Princess Luna.

But she was not the one to release me. It was her other half. Nightmare Moon. But I was still frightened of what may occur. James held onto me. He was there for me as the curse was removed. And that night… I felt myself truly breathe for the first time in ages. I was free. And my savior is… Was…

It was only then that I felt the tears come. Only after reminding myself of everything that had happened did my heart finally feel it. I fell to my knees. My vision was a blur. I buried my face in my arms as it finally registered with me what I had lost. He was gone… My friend and rescuer. He gave me so much, even if he felt he did little. I finally have a true home with wonderful friends. I know I'll probably never find my so-called 'cutie mark', but that doesn't matter to me. I'm free. I have people in my life who care for me. And the one who probably cared most is…

Even now as I write this, I still don't feel like I'm feeling the full force of the shock. My memories are one thing, but I guess… Some ponies have to see it to feel the full weight of the horror. But it still doesn't feel right. It feels like a part of me wants to scream, but is being gagged. I will have to wait until this Sunday. When I can finally say goodbye…

* * *

Man, what a night… My head hurt when I woke up in the morning. How much did I drink last night? I had one hay of a hangover when I woke up. But why did I drink so much last… Oh… Right.

It only took me one look in the mirror to be reminded. My eyes were bloodshot and my cheeks stained from tears. I cried myself to sleep again last night. Just like the previous night. And the night before…

I felt too tired to cry, but I felt too awake to go back to bed. Just… Darn it! Why'd this have to happen?! I loved you, you idiot! Why'd you have to pick Fluttershy?! If you stuck with me, I would've always been there for you! Why didn't you ask me to be your mare… No… We were the idiots… We didn't keep our promise and…

…I just can't let it go. I needed to get outta there. Get some fresh air. So I went out for a little flight. But my head was hurting too much to really see straight. What did Twilight say that one time? The best way to prevent a hangover is… To stay hydrated or something?

Well, I got to Ponyville no problem. But when I was passing by Rarity's place, I noticed something down there on the tree outside her house. I stopped and flew by again and saw it one more time. When the sun hit it just right, something would shine.

I flew down there and took a closer look. It was…a bracelet hanging by a little branch. And didn't I see that somewhere before? It was all silver with a line of opals around… Wait a second. Wasn't that the bracelet James got Rarity way back when? Why was it outside? A really good way to get it tarnished.

I decided to give it back to Rarity, so I grabbed it and hung it on my wing before landing outside her door. Something really weird must've happened for it to be out there. So I rang the doorbell and waited. Didn't take long to get a response. The door creaked open and there Rarity was. But her mane looked a bit frazzled. That's how you know she's stressed out.

"Oh… Good morning, Rainbow Dash. Can I help you?" Looked like she had been crying too. So I walked inside while she let me in.

"Uh… Not really. I'm just dropping something off. I found this hanging outside your place." I said while I extended my wing to show the bracelet. "This is yours, right?"

The weird thing is she cringed as soon as she saw it. "No… Please, get that away from me… I don't deserve it."

"Don't deserve… What're you talking about? He got this for you outta the kindness of his heart, right? Doesn't that mean it's important to you?" I've never known Rarity to turn down any jewelry, especially from a guy she totally has the hots for.

She started crying right away. "You know what I did! I hurt him just as much as Fluttershy did, if not more! I never even took into consideration the bracelet around my ankle! He gave me his love and I threw him away! I don't deserve such a precious gift!"

Always has to be dramatic… Well, that didn't sit well with me. I reached out and slapped her across the face with my wing. Didn't hit too hard since it was all feathers, but it got her to shut up. "Rarity… It isn't like me to get sentimental about stuff, but… Listen, all right?"

All she did was nod. She was shaken up, but she was listening. I don't blame her for being so hurt. I know I am too, but I'm just hiding it better. I can totally see her and James making a really nice couple. They would've had some gorgeous kids too. "Don't say you don't deserve this, all right? You loved the guy, right? And I know you were precious to him too. Hay, I know if you two got together, you'd probably ride him every night like a bull!"

I know she wanted to say something to that last line, but she was too upset to really say anything. So I went on. "Rarity… I know you hurt him. But let's all be honest here. That wasn't really you. Discord… He made you do that. Under all that he did to make you act like…whatever you were, you still loved James. And you're still the mare he loved. The mare he got this for, right?" I then held out the bracelet out to her. "So… You should keep this. He'd want you to have this anyway, right?"

It took a few seconds, but she grabbed the thing with her levitation magic and looked at it a bit more closely. "He… You're right… He would want me to keep this…"

She unclipped the thing to let it open and then closed the bracelet over her right ankle. "I just could not see through my guilt… Thank you for returning this to me, Rainbow Dash… I will never part with it again."

"Hey, no problem… Now… Sorry to cut this visit short, but I need to get going. I gotta head over to Twilight's place to find a cure for this hangover." I then started to head out the door, but Rarity caught up to me.

"Hangover?! How'd you get that? You're not one to drink, Rainbow!" No wonder she was so surprised. I get clumsy with my flying when I'm drunk.

Well, I looked back at her while rubbing my head. I'm telling you, hangovers suck. "Well, how else am I gonna loosen myself up enough to cry without caring about my reputation?"

Darn it, my head hurts… I better stop here. I think I'll just cry myself to sleep again tonight… Just… Why, James…? If you dumped her and went with me instead, we'd be living the good life right now…

* * *

I don't know what to do anymore… It's been a week… And tomorrow is the day… Every day, it feels the same. I have no energy… I almost never go outside except to feed my little friends. But even then… It always feels like a struggle. But at least they understand. All my little friends really miss him… James… I wish you were still here.

I still remember it like it happened yesterday… I tried so hard to resist Discord. I really did… I could've tried harder. I could've held onto myself. But I didn't. I told James to hurt himself… Why did I do that? Why did I feel so…satisfied when he punched himself in the face? And I… I kicked him in the face… I'm a horrible girlfriend…. I'm a monster… And now he's dead…all because of me…

I never talk to anypony anymore. Even Scootaloo. I know she lives in my house and she's probably my responsibility, but… I have no drive anymore… I wish I had more of a will to do something. But…I see him in my dreams every night… I can't forget. I can't let go. I killed my boyfriend… I'm a monster… I shouldn't let myself rub off on a child…

I've been feeling so sick… Maybe I'm malnourished. I know I probably deserve it, but… It still doesn't feel good. I would've just stayed home in bed if Angel hadn't come to me in the bathroom after I… Well…threw up.

"But… I know it might be serious, but I… All right, I guess I should. I'll go to the hospital and see if they can find anything wrong. Please watch the place while I'm gone, Angel." He was really worried. He tries to be strict with me to make sure I do what needs to be done. If it weren't for him, I probably would've lost all our little friends because I probably would've stopped feeding them.

I felt so sluggish while I walked through town. I didn't even notice anypony around me. Like something was pulling me along on a string and I was just following. But somewhere along the way, I thought I heard something. It wasn't until somepony touched my shoulder that I noticed who was right next to me. "Fluttershy? I haven't seen ya all week. Y'all doin' all right?"

It was Applejack. It looked like her black eye had healed nicely. And she was looking very worried. I looked at her and tried to smile, but couldn't. "Hello, Applejack… I'm… I don't know…"

"Girl… You look awful. Where are ya headin'? If ya want, I can give ya a lift. I got enough free time." I'm glad she was being so supportive. Applejack has always been so dependable. I don't know what we would do without her.

"I… Well… All right. I need to get to the hospital. I haven't been feeling…well?!" just as I was about to finish what I was saying, Applejack slipped under me and lifted me onto her back.

"Say no more, Fluttershy. I'll getcha there in a jiffy." And we were off. She ran through town while I held on tight. "Ya know, I reckon y'all just aren't feelin' yerself because ya haven't been eatin' right. I know yer depressed. Hay, we all are. But ya still gotta take care of yourself."

"I'll try…" She was right. I've hardly eaten anything since coming home. I know I should, but…I never feel hungry anymore. I'm just too sad to want to eat all the time…

With Applejack carrying me, it didn't take long for us to reach Ponyville Hospital. She set me down on one of the cushions just inside the door and went over to the receptionist's desk. "Howdy, nurse. Fluttershy here's not feelin' too well. Ya got room for an unscheduled checkup?"

I could tell she was trying to put on a friendly face to avoid making the situation awkward. But…I could still see it. She was not happy either. The nurse seemed to look through something before looking back at Applejack and me. "Well… Yes, it seems we have a spot open right now." I think she pressed a button or something out of sight. "Nurse Redheart to the lobby. You have a surprise patient."

Nurse Redheart is the doctor I always see whenever I have a checkup. Applejack then took a seat next to me on another cushion. "Ya want me ta stay until yer done? I've still got some time."

"I'd appreciate that…" I really didn't feel like talking much… Fortunately, Nurse Redheart came out into the lobby before I had to say much of anything else.

"Miss Fluttershy? You needed to see me?" She must've noticed there was something wrong with me right away. Then again, I wasn't really trying to hide my depression.

Applejack spoke for me. "She is, doc. Fluttershy's feelin' mighty outta things. She might have something bad."

"All right. Please come with me and we'll get startle." I stood up and followed after the nurse while Applejack stayed behind. I was hoping that whatever was wrong with me would be easy to fix. Maybe just the early stages of the flu or something…

Once I was in the office, Nurse Redheart gave me a thermometer to check my temperature. "So… How have you been, Fluttershy?"

"I don't know… Just…depressed. Empty…" It wasn't hard talking with a thermometer in my mouth. And I was just being honest…

She knew what was wrong. I know because I'm sure she was given an invitation to…his funeral tomorrow. "I know… You had a real sweetheart of a boyfriend, Fluttershy. I'm terribly sorry for everything you've gone through…" She then took the thermometer away and checked it. "Well, your temperature is normal. What kind of symptoms have you been experiencing lately?"

I had to stop a minute to think. "Um… Some occasional queasiness… Loss of appetite… Lack of energy… And sometimes vomiting…"

"Hmm… Well, those could point to a number of things. I think you may be malnourished due to your loss of appetite, but that's normal for those suffering from depression." She looked through something on a clipboard for a moment before looking back at me. "I'll just run a few tests to see what I can find."

Um… I don't know how to describe all the stuff she did. Some of it is kind of embarrassing. I know about how to patch up injuries and know how to find out what someone is sick with if it isn't too complicated, but I'm not a certified nurse. But after leaving the room for a while, Nurse Redheart came back. And I knew by that forlorn look in her eyes that she had some bad news. "Um… Is it bad?"

She sighed before looking over the papers attached to her clipboard. "Well… I have some good and bad news. The good news is that… Well, it seems your physical health is mostly normal. It seems you are dehydrated and lacking in some nutrition though. I advise increasing your food and water intake to fix that."

"Oh… Well, I'll try to eat at least two meals a day to help with that. And the bad news?" I couldn't even guess what it could be. My life was already hard enough by that point. Living with the knowledge that I…basically murdered the love of my life… What could be worse than that?

Nurse Redheart hesitated. I was a bit scared then. Did I have cancer? Finally, she looked at me and frowned. "Well… I would say congratulations, but…I suppose this isn't a good time to say that."

Congratulations? On what? I tried to think over what that could mean… Wait… Isn't that something most ponies say when… No… No, it couldn't be… "Wait… You don't mean…?!"

She silently passed me the clipboard. I looked through the list of things it said. One of the tests she had me take was…a pregnancy test. And…it was positive. I almost fainted. I nearly fell off the table. My heat cycle started up again just a few days before Discord… No… Not now… If things were different, then maybe… But…not now… Not without him…!

I felt the nurse place her hoof on my shoulder. I could hardly see her. The tears were coming again. "I'm sorry… I know you and James had been considering starting a family in a few years. I'm… I wish there was something I could say."

Everything after that felt like a blur. I don't know what happened next in the hospital. I don't know what happened with Applejack. The entire day felt like it didn't even happen. Even as I lie here in bed, I'm still not sure if everything that happened today even happened… But…I know it happened. I know what Nurse Redheart showed me. I know that…in my belly…his child is growing.

I placed my hoof on my belly. I couldn't feel anything different. But I knew. I know it's in there. My… Our foal. But now…he'll never know. I always thought that because our genes are so different, the chances of conception would always be low… I've already gone into heat twice before and nothing happened from it. And we could never use contraception because…Equestria doesn't make any for humans.

I don't know what to do… We both wanted a child someday… And now it's happening. But…Daddy isn't here anymore. Our child will never know its father. And Mommy was the one who…broke his heart and…killed him…

James… I can't do this without you… I'm not ready… If you were here, I'm sure we could make this work… But… What have I done…?! You're gone and it's all my fault! I love you… I love you so much, I can't describe it… I should've never written that love letter so long ago! I should've known better than to think I was right for you… I should've kept my distance…watching you from afar… Never letting you know how much you drew me to you with your genuine sweetness and gentle touch… I thought you… I thought you were the only man I could give my heart to…and you were. But I…smashed your heart and…

I can't forgive myself… I'll never be able to forgive myself now… James, you're going to be a daddy… And our baby will never know what a wonderful man you were… And it's all my fault…

It's going to be a long time before that day comes. I still have eleven months. But… What am I going to do? How will I tell the others? What… I… James… Please, come back… I love you… Please forgive me…. I want you home… I want you to be there when the baby comes… Please… Please, come home…

* * *

Wrath consumes me. Day after day, nothing changes. I remain confined to this chamber in the tallest tower in the palace. The guards outside the doors never speak with me. If nothing else, they fear me. As they should.

I still have not forgotten. The six bearers… Traitors, all of them! I witnessed them make that solemn promise. They knew what they were up against and they knew what they had to do. He was oblivious to the danger and nothing we could have said could have prepared him for what to expect. They knew this too and vowed to keep him safe from both Discord and themselves. And they failed. And the cost? His life!

Discord may be gone forever, but the wrath remains with me. Every waking moment, I feel nothing but bitterness. They know not what they had robbed of me. That man… The first to ever see me as a mare and not a monster. The only man to ever hold my heart… My love, why did this happen? How could they fail you like this?! They were your dearest friends and they threw you away! You may have ended Discord's reign of anarchy forever, but the cost was still too great!

How long has it been since I awoke to find myself confined to this chamber? A week? A barrier still stands. I cannot escape. Even teleportation does not bypass it. My sisters… They must have known the grudge I hold once I heard what had become of my beloved. And from the traitors themselves, no less. If only this barrier was not here, I would hunt each of them down.

The guards… Where were they? There are always two stations just outside the door. I heard someone coming. And then I saw her. Celestia.

"Are you well, Nightmare Moon?" She asked solemnly, all too aware of my heartache and rage.

I answered her the same I always do. "Are you here to release me or to lecture me once more?"

She paused. Her eyes looked away momentarily before she replied. "I am here to inform that the funeral begins soon. His body has been prepared and we are ready to depart. And…I would be honored if you could attend as well."

For the sake of being fair, I spoke in return. "Will the six of them be attending as well?"

"Of course. He was…dear to them, so they will naturally attend." She seemed to know why I was asking. That look in her eyes showed a silent fear.

I growled as I spoke from within the shadows of the dimly lit chamber. "Then you would be wise to keep me confined here, or I will slaughter them on sight and mount their heads on a pike."

For once, she did not answer. And yet, she did not depart. It took some time, but she finally spoke. "Sister… I know he was precious to you. And, given different circumstances, if you and he had become an item, you would have my eternal blessings. But please… As your sister, I implore you. Hold onto your sorrow if you desire, but let go of your rage. It…"

How dare she… Did she truly know nothing of loss? Could she even comprehend the agony I was in? I bombarded the unseen barrier before the open door with magic lightning, but to no avail. "Silence! What do you know of rage or loss?! He was my guiding light! The path that led me out of the shadows! Without him, I am forever lost! You cannot comprehend what I have lost! And all because of them!"

I was then suddenly silenced when my sister snarled at me, a wave of flame being unleashed against the barrier between us. She was prepared to cast another. There was something she wanted to say and I felt compelled to listen. "Nightmare Moon. You are correct. I do not know loss and wrath like you do. And yet…I envy you."

Those words… She? The Princess of the Dawn, envious of me? "Explain yourself… What could you, the one who has everything, possibly envy me for?"

Tears beginning to cascade down her face, she spoke softly, yet sternly. "I have seen the two of you bond. And truly, the two of you were fine friends. But during the brief times I was with him, I felt something…new. I saw within him…a kindred spirit. And I see why. He was the sun to your moon. Your, as you said, guiding light. And I saw myself within him. I often asked myself why I waited until just recently to finally get to know him while you and our sister bonded quickly and spent much time with him."

A quiet sob escaped her lips. I always thought that Celestia had always been…distant to him. But in recent weeks, we spent a fair amount of time with him. How I miss those days… And the two of them showed such great chemistry. So much in common. Indeed, he was much closer to the light than the dark. Just like her. And she finally spoke once more. "Only now I will never know how close we could have become. You knew his friendship and love while I only got a taste of it. I miss him too, sister. You should know that. But that is not all I wanted to say to you."

It was so conflicting… I felt both concern and anger as I listened to her. But there was still much she wanted to say, so I listened. "I know why it is you can't let go of your anger. It is a means to cope with your pain. If you have someone to blame, someone to seek vengeance on, it becomes more bearable. And in your eyes, they were to blame. And in a way, your views are correct. They did indeed fail to fulfill their promise. But you must never forget, sister. The true puppet master who orchestrated his demise. The six bearers are not to blame, Nightmare Moon. The guilty party is Discord. And I know that it is difficult to direct your anger and hatred toward one who is no longer alive to harm."

…She… I did not want to admit it, but… Celestia was right. Discord… He was once again the source of great turmoil. And now his actions have forever robbed us of something precious. "We were fools to believe that there was any hope of salvation for his shattered soul. Despair and loss had twisted him into a demon obsessed with chaos to drown his sorrow. Perhaps… Perhaps in James, he saw a way out. A way to end his misery where we could not. Discord was set free, Nightmare Moon. And he will never return. If you must, cling to your sorrow. But let go of your wrath knowing that he who has wronged us is no more and died horribly for his sins."

It was true. I have seen the aftermath of the hellish battle. Whatever it was that occurred, my beloved must have surely given that monster hell… Even if it meant becoming a monster himself… Discord, you monster… You… I will never forgive you for what you have done… If you were still alive, I would destroy myself.

I could not contain myself. I felt my wrath leaving me. My tears flowed as my sister tearfully spoke to me. "Do not hate them for a failure they could not prevent. They are suffering greatly at this moment as well, sister. Their pain is your pain and their loss is your loss."

I saw the barrier fade. My sister rushed to my side and held me as I wailed. With the anger gone, only despair remained. My love… I know not what I will do now that your guiding light has faded… Wait for me… I will be seeing you one final time… What happens then… I cannot say. Without you, I am lost…


End file.
